I was at sea the other day and loads of meat floated past. It was a bit choppy. - "Tim Vine"

I was at sea the other day and loads of meat floated past. It was a bit choppy.
Tim Vine

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red.
- Tim Vine
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I sit in places like Costa Coffee in Banstead and write rubbish. I need a deadline. I think about the 44 tour dates and keep imagining standing in front of all these people. Then every day I write 15 jokes minimum.
- Tim Vine