I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt. - "Groucho Marx"

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
Groucho Marx

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Just give me a comfortable couch a dog a good book and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book I might have a little fun.
- Groucho Marx
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Go, and never darken my towels again.
- Groucho Marx