I have a map of the United States... Actual size. It says Scale 1 mile 1 mile. I spent last summer folding it. I hardly ever unroll it. People ask me where I live and I say E6. - "Steven Wright"

I have a map of the United States... Actual size. It says Scale 1 mile 1 mile. I spent last summer folding it. I hardly ever unroll it. People ask me where I live and I say E6.
Steven Wright

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In my house theres this light switch that doesnt do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday I got a call from a woman in Madagascar. She said Cut it out.
- Steven Wright

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Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
- Steven Wright