I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - "Groucho Marx"

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx

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The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution - this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths.
- Groucho Marx
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No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
- Groucho Marx