I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything. - "Steven Wright"

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
Steven Wright

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Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'
- Steven Wright
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I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.
- Steven Wright