Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution? - "Groucho Marx"

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
Groucho Marx

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I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
- Groucho Marx
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
- Groucho Marx