If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. - "Erma Bombeck"

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
Erma Bombeck

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Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go.
- Erma Bombeck
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One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.
- Erma Bombeck