If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
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Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
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For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.
- Jeff Foxworthy