I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle. - "Mitch Hedberg"

I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.
Mitch Hedberg

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An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.
- Mitch Hedberg
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I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.
- Mitch Hedberg