I bought a seven-dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring. Mitch Hedberg Next Quote Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down. - Mitch Hedberg Previous Quote I used to be a hot-tar roofer. Yeah, I remember that... day. - Mitch Hedberg