What is your favorite part of being raised in Canada? How has it impacted your will to write?
I'm very proud to be a Canadian. I live in a beautiful country where the beauty comes as much from the people as it does from our landscape. The people in Canada are, for the most part, kind, open and caring people. My favorite part about being raised here is the safe inclusive and carefree atmosphere. It's a country where people do more loving than fighting and who wouldn't love that? My writing addresses some very controversial social issues and because of the nature of that writing, Canada is a great place for me to write and publish. I don't know if I would have had the courage to write and publish my memoir if we lived in a different county.
You’ve been married to your husband for almost twenty-five years now. How would you describe your journey with him?
I married my best friend and we make a good team. Our love and mutual respect for one another have helped us to maintain a consistently strong bond. Our marriage doesn't feel like work to me. It feels like home.
You enjoy reading nonfiction books. Which is your favorite read and why?
Wow, there have been so many favorites. It would be impossible for me to name just one. How about instead I give you a few of my favorite non-fiction authors? I enjoy reading Wayne Dyer's spiritual books, Robert G. Allen's business books, and George Orwell's thought-provoking books. It's an eclectic mix. I think when it comes to books, we should read on a variety of topics. What better way to expand our horizons.
You are very fond of painting. Have you ever exhibited your paintings for the public?
No, I haven't. It's just a hobby that I enjoy and it's not something I'm necessarily any good at L0L.
What is your fondest memory of your children’s childhood?
Watching them play and laugh together. The sound of my children laughing, even today, is the most wonderful sound in the world to me.
If there is one thing that you could change about the world we live in, what would it be and why?
I would have it so we all see only another human being when we look at one another. I would erase discrimination so that when we see another person we don't see black or white, rich or poor, gay or straight, Christian or Jew - we just see people. It shouldn't be a white person for example. It should just be a person. We shouldn't feel the need to say we are going to a gay or straight wedding. Instead, we should just think of it as a wedding. We shouldn't care if our neighbour is Christian, Jewish or Atheist etc., only that they are our neighbour. The reason I would change this is that I believe if we could only see each other simply as human beings there would be more peace in the world.
You are very inspiring as a parent and give other parents the guidance to be better and more accepting to their children. How does it feel to be such a positive influence?
I'm glad my writing has helped people and given hope and strength to families. At the same time, it feels a little sad. It is sad my own ignorance kept me from seeing who my child was for so long. It is sad that so many parents can't love, accept and affirm their LGBTQ+ children. It is sad that children are scared and don't feel safe in their own homes because their truth is met with denial, hatred, and rejection from those who should be loving them unconditionally. If I am inspiring other parents I am grateful for that opportunity and I will continue to write and share about these issues for as long as I feel called to do so. We as a society are making progress but it is slow and we have a long way to go.
What is the goal you are trying to achieve through your writing? How far do you think you have come?
My goal today is the same as it was when I published I Promised Not to Tell: Raising a transgender child and that is to help other families. I know there are many families out there who continue to struggle so I don't think I've come far enough yet, but I will keep trying.
You write about an issue that has been plaguing society for a long time and needs to be addressed, just like many others. How important do you feel it is that people talk about these things to reduce the stigma associated with them?
The issue of a gender binary plagues us. Most people still have trouble seeing beyond this binary. This gender binary that plagues us is a human construct we created. Humans were not meant to be confined by such a binary. There is no doubt that people who identify outside of the binary of male and female live with stigma. They are unfairly treated and expected to conform to a binary mold society erected even when it is not in their nature. Talking openly about gender, especially non conforming and gender queer identities is critical for our growth and expansion as a society.
What Does God Think? is a wonderful analysis of how religion and its scriptures look at transgender people. What made you write this one and how did you collect facts and information for it?
What Does God Think? is an expansion on a single chapter by the same title that appeared in my original memoir I Promised Not to Tell. Having only touched on the topic in my memoir and knowing there was so much more that could be said on the subject I decided to write another book. Not everyone is curious about religion, the scriptures, what God thinks or the nature vs nurture argument but many are. I discovered that many of the families who struggle after a child comes out as transgender are battling with religious beliefs that suggest there is no such thing as a transgender person. Then there are people who may not be religious yet still struggle to understand how someone can be transgender. The book serves both these groups of people by looking at not only what the Bible tells us but what science shows us. The book also addresses cultural and societal issues as they relate to gender. It took a long time to write What Does God Think? because there was so much research to fact check and write about. I learned an incredible amount of information during the time my son was going through his teen years but needed to go back through everything to fact check it and document it accurately. The end result is a book I pray offers hope and healing to transgender people and their families because that was my purpose for writing it.
Becoming a voice for transgender people, you have benefited a lot of them through your writing. What is the best compliment you have received in this context? How does it make you feel?
I wouldn't say I speak for them but I do try to offer a positive contribution to the conversation. I have received many emails from transgender people who have thanked me for writing my books but the best compliments I have received came in the form of written reviews. I am so humbled and grateful when readers invest their time to read my books. It is amazing when they go that extra mile and leave me a review. Here is one example of a review left on goodreads for the book What Does God Think?: "As a trans person, I really appreciate that the author wrote this book, and I hope the sentiments and viewpoints within spread and help to open a dialog that leads to greater acceptance of people like us."
How does your son, Jordon feel about your books?
My son supports my desire to help other people through my books even though he has not read them. He started to read I Promised Not to Tell but it was a difficult read for him emotionally so he stopped midway through, and has yet to return to it. I'm not sure he ever will.
What is the next book that you are working on? What is it about?
I just finished a journal series that I wrote to help encourage and support transgender pre-teens to youthful adults that I'm very excited about. It's called Wonderfully and Purposely Made: I Am Enough. It is an interactive journal that contains over 75 thought-provoking questions as well as positive quotes and exercises all designed to uplift and inspire a transgender person. From that came two additional books for parents - both are interactive journals. One is titled My Parenting Journey with a Transgender Child and the other My Parenting Journey with an LGBTQ+ Child. It was a ton of work putting out these three books at the same time. For that reason, I decided to take a bit of a break this last month before digging into my next book. I have a good idea of where I am heading with the next one but for now, I will keep you guessing.
