Where have you spent most of your childhood?
Half of my childhood was spent in Kentucky; from the age of 10, I lived in Corning, NY.
Many aspiring authors face challenges when writing their first book. What were some of the obstacles you encountered during the writing process, and how did you overcome them?
One big struggle for me was organizing the book. It made sense for me to have Part I be about my first brain surgery, the Part II was about the second surgery, Part III is reflection. A writer in my critique group pointed out that I needed a character arc. She was right, and I did a major revision. I realized my arc was failure to speak up when a medical person wasn’t listening. I dug deep into my childhood to find out why. Once I did find my reason, I felt an immense burden on my shoulders was lifted. I have taken many classes from Nancy Slonim Aronie, and I read her book, Memoir as Medicine which came out just as I was adding my character arc. I can testify to her belief that we need to get stuff out on the page. My memoir evolved quite a bit from my conception. I learned how to work with a good and patient editor.
Your husband played a significant role in your journey. Could you talk about how his support influenced your experiences and the memoir?
My husband and I have been together since I was seventeen—fifty-eight years. I knew at seventeen he would be a true partner. He supported me through both surgeries, and now cares for me because I have residual issues from the surgeries. For example, he is a quiet man but, when I threw a tantrum after being told I was not going home after twenty-eight days in the hospital, he let me have my tantrum. He was as upset as I was. I am blessed.
The medical system can be complex and daunting. Could you share a pivotal moment when you realized the importance of speaking up for yourself in the medical process?
I think the pivotal moment when I realized I needed to speak up for myself, was when I threw that tantrum. I became even more aware as I wrote in my character arc because, in that process, I remembered my generation had been taught to never question doctors or priests.
Can you tell us about the inspiration behind your memoir's title, "As long as I'm down here, I might as well put on my shoes"?
My title is based on an actual incident. After the first surgery, my husband thought I’d feel better using the state-of-the-art facility near us. (Neither of us knew I was going to need a second surgery). After aqua aerobics, I was getting dressed. I bent down to get my shoes out of the locker and flip-flopped over the bench and landed right in front of my shoes. So, I said to myself, “As long as I’m down here, I might as well put on my shoes.” It is a long title, but I believe it reveals my resilience.
Your memoir chronicles your journey through surgeries to remove a brain tumor. What prompted you to write about this experience now, in retirement?
I was prompted to write about these surgeries to help others trying to navigate the medical system, and to offer tips, and hope.
Your character arc involves finding the courage to speak up even as your voice got weaker due to surgeries. How did you manage to overcome this challenge and assert yourself?
From what I learned from my character arc, I am now speaking up and changing doctors who aren’t listening to me. In one case, a doctor asked question then looked to my husband for the answers. I am the patient!
Memoirs often contain emotional highs and lows. How did you approach balancing the serious moments with the lighthearted ones, especially given the theme of humor you mentioned?
In several readings I have given, I have read some of the funny chapters. I was worried I was trivializing the serious experiences. Many people said they thought the humor softened some of incidents. I also believe that my humor helped me survive. I know that no one would like to read a “woe is me” memoir.
Writing a memoir involves reliving personal experiences. Were there any moments that were particularly difficult to revisit? How did you handle those challenges?
When I explored the reasons I didn’t speak up, I knew it had to do with being told often by my parents that children were to be seen, but not heard. Then I recalled several memories involving my parents heaping guilt on me that hurt me deeply. I took a deep breath and wrote about these emotional wounds. I did ask my sister and brother what they thought. They were okay with the scenes. My sister simply said, “Write your truth.”
Can you share a memorable or funny anecdote from your book that illustrates the blend of humor and your journey's themes?
My Chapter 10, “My Family Makes Me Sick,” is due to the crazy things people say after sedation. My husband wanted me to allow family and friends in to see me after my first surgery. I kept saying, “No.” He then insisted I let them visit. I knew I would get emotional and then nauseous when I saw them. But he went back and reported that I said my family makes me sick! In context, any reader would know how my family is precious to me.
What do you hope readers will take away from your memoir, especially those who might be facing medical challenges or struggling to find their voice?
My hope is, that readers facing a medical decision, are inspired to make wise decisions and learn from my mistakes. I hope they use their voice, too.
Writing a memoir often involves introspection and self-discovery. Did the process of writing about your experiences lead you to any surprising revelations about yourself?
In writing my memoir, I realized how resilient I am. I also became even more grateful for my husband’s love and support. I never thought of myself as reticent, until I recalled how I was taught to never question a doctor or priest. In writing Part III, I reflected on my experiences and found joy in “full circle moments.” I no longer take life for granted.
Memoirs have the power to inspire and resonate with readers on a personal level. Have you received any feedback from readers who found your story particularly impactful?
The reviews I have received have been gratifying. One reviewer wrote “She has the ability to have the reader feel part of her journey and I loved the humor throughout. She was able to regain her ability to function physically, but she was also able to gain emotional strength.” Another, “Instead of being a sad book it was inspirational, uplifting, filled with humor, and written with wisdom and grace.” My mentor, Nancy Aronie read my book and wrote: “Heartfelt. Uplifting. Encouraging.” Most rewarding has been the feedback at book readings. One person who is a cancer survivor said I managed to write an uplifting story, to write from the heart, to add humor and to help people who were facing medical decisions. That was my goal!
Could you briefly touch on the writing techniques you used to weave together the different threads of your story, such as medical challenges, personal growth, and love?
As for writing techniques I wove narrative in with the humor that kept bubbling up. My editor was a great in helping me create scenes. With each story there was the reminder of my husband supporting me. I practiced including dialogue. I saved most of the personal growth ideas for Part III. Since I lived this experience, it was difficult to keep things in perspective. The habit that helped me the most was to walk away at times and let ideas percolate and sort themselves out.
Lastly, what do you think of your AllAuthor experience so far? Would you recommend this platform to other authors and friends?
I am impressed with the All Author platform. I love the book mockups! I have seen an increase in book sales from their marketing. I was burned by a free-lance site that promised me all kinds of promotional materials and kept asking for more money. I have two friends who are authors and I’m going to tell them. I have six people in my writing group, and I will also tell them.
