Preventing Her Shutdown: Losing My Wife To Alzheimer's

Sammie Marsalli

United States4 Books

FollowAMA (109)

Advice & How To Biographies & Memoirs General Nonfiction

BIOGRAPHY
My books are born from love and the daily reality of caring for my wife with Alzheimer’s.

I share my journey—not only the struggles, but also the lessons, discoveries, and small moments of grace—in the hope that other family caregivers will know they are not alone.

When my wife was diagnosed, my world changed overnight. I was no longer just her husband—I became her full-time caregiver, companion, and protector. What I didn’t understand then was that caregiving is not only physical. It is emotional, unpredictable, and often overwhelming.

There is no manual for Alzheimer’s. No clear steps. No predictable path.

There is no chronological order in how to care for a loved one with dementia, including Alzheimer’s. This is not a step-by-step process. Behavioral changes are often spontaneous and vary depending on the type of dementia and its stage. Every person’s journey is unique.

What works one day may not work the next. What is comforting today may cause distress tomorrow. Like many caregivers, I learned through trial and error—often in difficult moments, with no time to prepare.

Caring for a loved one at home, without immediate help, means facing situations in real time. In those moments, there are no instructions—only intuition, patience, and love.

In response, I developed my own ways to help my wife stay engaged, connected, and present—particularly during the quiet moments when connection begins to fade. That “blank look” is the moment I fear most. It is in those moments that I act, making small adjustments, small efforts—anything that might help her hold on to her sense of self, even as the disease progresses.

I am not writing as an expert. I am writing as a husband, married for over four decades, a father of three, and a full-time caregiver doing the best he can each day.

My hope is that these books offer something practical, something honest, and something comforting—so that other caregivers may feel less alone, less overwhelmed, and better prepared for the unexpected moments this journey brings.

If you are caring for someone with Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia, you already understand the depth of love and sacrifice involved. You also know that, even in silence, our loved ones are still trying to live.

If my experiences can ease even a small part of your journey, then sharing them has been worth it.

These books reflect different parts of the caregiving journey—from daily survival to staying connected and understanding what is being lost.

My caregiving book, Preventing Her Shutdown: Losing My Wife To Alzheimer’s, shares my firsthand experience of trying to stay connected with my wife as Alzheimer’s changed the way she communicated, responded, and engaged with the world around her.

It is a story of trial and error, intuition, love, and the determination to keep reaching the person I love.

The Power of Love Permits the Unimaginable.