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The Polygamist

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Set at the end of the seventies, a time when experimentation with alternative lifestyles and sexual relationships was rife, The Polygamist follows the fortunes of Omar Al Ghamdi, Saudi-born but educated in the West; a man who is the product of two irreconcilable cultures.

After two decades he has come to experience philandering as increasingly superficial; but vehemently opposed to monogamous fidelity, turns to polygamy as the solution to his high turnover existence. His hope is that taking several wives will provide him with a more honest and satisfying alternative, allowing him to engage in deeper relationships whilst still giving a long enough leash to his sexuality.

Having pursued his goal without compromise by entering into serial arranged marriages, he lives with his household on a remote house on Colva Beach in Goa. Does the reality live up to the dream? And, what is it like for the women? How can one man possibly satisfy multiple female partners?

Written from an unashamedly male perspective, The Polygamist will appeal to those wishing to understand male sexuality and the desires that shape all of our lives and relationships.

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336 pages, Paperback

Published September 28, 2016

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About the author

William Irvine

1 book80 followers
William Irvine visited India for the first time in 1978 as a volunteer worker in rural Bihar, staying at a leprosy hospital. It was the beginning of a lifelong relationship. He read philosophy, his other passion, at Sussex University. He currently works as an IT consultant with one of modern India’s technology behemoths.

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5 stars
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Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews
Profile Image for Rosetta Yorke.
Author 5 books102 followers
March 4, 2017
Please note – ‘The Polygamist’ contains explicit sex scenes and raises the subject of FGM and child prostitution.
I have mixed feelings about this book. Omar al Ghamdi is an arrogant and self-centred man, but I found him strangely compelling. Tired of his fleeting ‘fairground ride’ relationships, this ‘champion fucker’ wants to experience the deeper satisfaction he believes a committed relationship will bring him and yet, at the same time, retain his right to indulge in promiscuous sexual variety, thus avoiding his inevitable boredom.

Polygamy, in Omar’s egotistical opinion, maximises his chances of reproductive success and satisfies his conflicting Arab and Western heritage. It is the ‘natural model for a male to live by’, his answer to the question – can you [i.e. the man] be genuinely free from sexual jealousy? (When Amy, one of the many lovers in his youth, counters Omar's deliberate infidelity with a blatant affair of her own, he condemns her as ‘childish, spoilt and manipulative’.) He displays outrage at the discovery that his second wife’s mother was a victim of female circumcision, declaring that ‘to steal a woman’s prospects of sexual fulfilment’ is ‘loathsome’, and yet he thinks that his intention never to consummate his first marriage completely is reasonable behaviour on his part. (He uses extreme sexual experimentation to explore his theory that maintaining his wife’s virgin state will increase her spiritual power and thereby increase her sexual sensuality, leading to heightened pleasure for him.

The author likens himself to a jeweller crafting a necklace from ‘precious stones’. His writing is indeed rich and beautifully crafted. It is full of vivid snapshot images, such as Omar’s encounter with a kingfish; and the farcical comedy of his ‘bony nag’ ride to his first wedding, accompanied by rent-a-crowd relations and musicians playing inappropriate music. Moreover, the reproduction chaise longue, kept at the back of his London shop for easy philandering, becomes a recurring metaphor for Omar’s character and unifies the story’s structure and themes; it is a particularly poignant image near the end of the book when he plays peekaboo from behind its high back with the symbolic child, Suleiman.

However, in my opinion, the author tries a little too hard to create his perfect story. The inclusion of Omar’s threesome lesbian sex and his voyeuristic encounter with child prostitutes feels contrived, as if the author is ticking these events off a check list of every male/female sexual relationship scenario he can think of. The book’s ending is a natural and logical progression, foreshadowed by earlier references to the ‘free love’ generation and Omar’s repeated encounters with Anthony and Rupert. It provides structural and thematic symmetry and remains true to Omar’s character. Again, beautifully crafted. So, why was I left dissatisfied? Perhaps because of that very character integrity – Omar does not grow or develop during the story; he simply moves on to what feels like his next sexual experiment. His life is ostensibly simpler in the final chapters, but it is still fully centred on him alone. There is no suggestion that his wives’ needs or opinions count with him now, any more than they did before. Moreover, Omar revels in the new-found admiration of those around him, as his alter-ego (the omniscient-narrator) makes clear. I saw and felt little evidence of genuine ‘humility’ in the final pages. Consequently, I rate this book at 4.5/5 for artistic merit, but 3/5 for my reader enjoyment of it.

I received a free copy of ‘The Polygamist’ from the author in exchange for a review.
October 14, 2016
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review

When reading this book we have to bear in mind that this is a fantasy. And a male fantasy no less. And a male fantasy set in the late seventies. If we are comfortable with this background, and I was, then the book is full of delightful moments and passes by as a breeze.
I liked the story of this polygamous man trying to find his place in the world, with women and with religion. It was a light read but engaging and I kept going back to it in my mind and wishing time could pass quickly so reading time was back again, and it had been a while since I had that feeling.
It was a pleasure reading it and I recommend it to anyone who wishes to read a story that flows easily like life in the shores of Goa.

https://peixinhodepratablog.wordpress...
18 reviews1 follower
January 13, 2017

I really enjoyed this book - it transported me to Goa, although I had to keep reminding myself that it was the 70’s as the story would have fit during any time period especially as some of the issues raised in the book such as FGM are just as relevant today.

I couldn’t decide if I liked Omar - I changed my mind throughout the book but by the end I became much warmer towards him.

I liked the character Anthony who, I am guessing was based on a real person as the book is dedicated to him - I would like to know more about him and what became of him but sadly the author himself does not know either.

I felt that there were a few too many sex scenes and preferred the chapters that moved the story along and involved Omar’s family and his friend Rupert however, overall I would definitely recommend this book - I even looked forward to my commute so that I could read it on the train!
Profile Image for M. Duda.
Author 6 books183 followers
February 21, 2017
While initially reading this book, I first approached it like a painting. William Irvine, the author, showed me numerous word images of western and southeastern Asian towns and cities, exotic locations that I experienced through the main character, Omar al Ghamdi. And for the entire book, Omar continues to travel while always meeting new characters. But it's these travels and Omar, himself, that soon conjured up a different simile as I turned more pages: This story is like a flower.

Omar is a confused and conflicted character. His sexual desires butt heads with his family's upbringing. He seeks answers in Western culture, but dislikes the portions that go against some of his more traditional roots. Yet, he considers his religious heritage dull and unenlightened. Omar lacks an anchor that grounds his mind and his body to the world around him.

As the story plays out, Omar slowly begins to blossom. He chooses polygamy so as to bridge his more traditional roots with his sexual desires. Tao mysticism may provide a connection to the more modern ways of indulging in personal gratification. These schemes don't work as he intended. And as each chapter finishes, Omar moves farther away from how he first sees himself and the world, moving toward a selfless individual, a small example of how one individual might make a difference in others' lives .

For some readers, this type of story may not hold your interest. Story conflicts are mostly played out in the character's mind. Negative events affect very little effect on the main character's life. And, while many interesting scenarios are pieced together throughout, the book doesn't quite seem to build to an ending when Omar fully flowers into an altruistic person. Yet, for those of you considering what lies between these paper covers (or the ebook,) you may discover a form of beauty waiting to be admired.
Profile Image for Sophia.
52 reviews44 followers
August 16, 2017
The key to enjoying this book is going into it with the right mindset. This is no feminist text - it is about a man unabashedly pandering to his sexual fantasies and the consequences that inevitably arise. It is about male desire and sexuality during the seventies in the middle east. When you approach it with this context, it's easier to have an open mind and enjoy the journey this story takes you on.

This book really challenged my way of thinking and showed me a perspective that isn't visited much in literature. Omar's story is probably far from the reality of a middle eastern polygamous marriage, but I appreciated it nonetheless.

When thinking about the main character of this novel, I think it's fair to say that many people would consider him selfish and without morals - and he can be - but, I was often pleasantly surprised with how caring and genuine Omar was with his wives and friends. While he undergoes a significant amount of growth throughout the novel, Irvine writes it in a way that is believable. As with any character, it was sometimes frustrating, but overall, I enjoyed spending time with Omar as he navigated life, sexuality, and religion.

It may go without saying, but this book has a good deal (ok, a lot) of sexual content, so if that makes you uncomfortable, this won't be the book for you. The sheer volume can seem gratuitous at times, but I think the scenes are a crucial part of both Omar's growth and his relationship with his wives.

Rating: 4.5/5
Profile Image for Simon Campbell.
Author 1 book29 followers
June 7, 2017
A beguiling journey into the human psyche and the Freudian struggle between the id, ego and super-ego, The Polygamist is also a road trip through times and places where cultures could assimilate and acquiesce rather than clash, where hopeful and adventurous spirits went in search of vivid and colorful locations and cultures, exotic tastes and aromas and new sights and sounds, to satisfy their primeval wants and needs.

Never heavy going but always thought-provoking (often erotic but never pornographic) I found this to be a thoroughly entertaining, bright, warm and sunny diversion from the dark clouds hanging over 2017, and whenever I put the book down I was always keen to return to the company of this quartet of beautifully realised (and credible) characters, to walk along the beach, tend to the garden or enjoy a homemade curry.
Profile Image for Luisa.
170 reviews2 followers
December 30, 2016
I really enjoyed this book. It was one of those books that i had to stay up to finish reading. Some people may have an issue with the subject matter but I didn't you just have to remember it is a work of fiction. This book was well written and enjoyable. I rarely give a book a 5 star but in my opinion this book deserved it. Yes i would recommend this book as I felt it was a fantastic read.
Profile Image for Raven.
40 reviews2 followers
February 13, 2017
I was hesitant to read this book at first as other reviews indicated that it was a male fantasy. While told from the male perspective, it read more like a beautiful and meaningful biography than a fantasy. It opened up my world perspective and challenged me to look at my own marriage differntly. This is one that I will definitely recommend and keep forever on my shelf to read again.
Profile Image for J.L. Day.
Author 3 books18 followers
April 8, 2017
I enjoyed this book immensely. I would like to note that I received a free copy of this book from the Author with a request for an unbiased and honest review; sometimes this works out well for the Author and other times it does not. In this case it was a gamble well worth taking. I must confess that there is a slight lull of indifference at the beginning, the book does not grab you in it's clutches immediately and demand your utmost attention until completion.

After a slightly slow start, the book continues to grow, blossoming into a genuinely intriguing piece of literature carrying the open-minded reader on a journey comprising a vast array of emotions and situations. There is mild sexual content, but no graphic language explicitly used to gratify the reader or further indulge any kind of "fantasy." I honestly felt connected to the characters in the book and felt it interesting witnessing the personal and spiritual growth of the protagonist. In the beginning, I actually found the protagonist arrogant, self-absorbed and brutally selfish; spoiled and pampered by wealth and family heritage and the classic"being born with a silver spoon in his mouth" symptoms.

He undergoes a spiritual growth and becomes keenly attuned to the world around him by engaging with a mystical/magical character in the person of a "poor" man (by his standards, but a man richer in life than he himself has yet learned to be) and interacts with a great many people along the way enriching his life and vastly enhancing his character. He transforms from a useless spoiled "twit" to becoming a man of spiritual pursuits; I really cannot go into it with too much detail or I will spoil the read for you which would be a genuine tragedy.

I had been a little leery that the story was going to be of a sexual deviant seeking twisted desires and minimizing women into some sort of sexual object. When I had read the original description of the book it mislead me a bit and I had thought it would be more of a sexual "romp," (NOT that I mind those, I do read eros) but there is little sexual reference and what there IS, is tasteful and even educational with the Author's usage of terminologies relative to cultural and religious beliefs. I did not find it demeaning to women or in any way minimizing their value or place in society.

I learned a good deal while reading this engaging and charming piece of literature, stepping back into older Islamic Moslum traditions, learning by matter of reference, tidbits of information relating to culture and picking up nuances inferred by the Author about India, Iran, Sudan and Saudi Arabia. He refers to verse from the Koran and traditions/blessings and religious affiliations, even though the Protagonist is not an overtly dutiful religiously devoted man, he has his beliefs and shares the beliefs of his people; but does not answer to the Call To Prayer of attend common religious prayer services.

This protagonist, this man I disliked in the beginning and certainly held not affinity for in any way, I shall miss him now that I find myself sadly at the closing of this book. Just as he forever looks for Anthony, I believe I will forever cast a wistful eye to the horizon, scanning for my dear and trusted friend Omar Al-Ghamdi.
Profile Image for Stuart Aken.
Author 24 books278 followers
May 7, 2017
A very human story of one man’s relentless search for a way of life that will suit his view of what a man’s life should be. Culture, religion, philosophy and morality all impact on the story, which has a Muslim protagonist, Omar, living in India, where his beliefs are in the minority.
There are lessons here for the non-Muslim, explanations of the peculiar (to most Western minds) attitude to women, and insights into the equally odd (again to most Western minds) approach to marriage.
Reading this book as an Englishman, raised in the Christian tradition, which I long ago rejected, I sometimes struggled to form empathy with the protagonist’s spiritual and practical conundrums resulting from his choice of lifestyle.
Making a deliberate decision to marry a number of women, more or less simultaneously, as an antidote to his previous unsatisfactory sexually promiscuous lifestyle, places him in situations he’s failed to expect.
The story is well told, with narrative attempts to explain the reasons why this man does what he does. In the process, the reader is informed about the values and priorities ruling the Islamic way of being. It’s alien to the Christian mind and I was conscious throughout of filtering events and attitudes through a personal history of both early church teaching and a current agnostic standpoint. As a result, I was rarely sympathetic to issues that caused Omar such soul-searching. To me, the answers were relatively straightforward. But I understand my approach to the ethics and morality of his lifestyle choice are entirely different. I tried, therefore to enter the mind-set of the protagonist. It made reading the book a slightly schizophrenic experience.
The character of Omar, as well as those of the women and other men he mingles with, is fully developed. Here is a man with a very specific view of the world and his place in it. That he’s from a wealthy Saudi Arabian family overlays the narrative with the inevitable selfishness displayed by such easily acquired riches. But it also adds a layer of the ‘exotic’ to the character.
For many people, he could so easily have been portrayed as a bad man with a poor moral sense attempting to kid himself he was simply living according to his culture and upbringing. But the author wraps the personality in layers of awareness and speculation that render him a much more interesting and, to some extent, even admirable man.
He’s determined to live his life in accordance with his own honest assessment of his sexuality and inability to commit to a single relationship for any length of time. His solution makes some sense within the context of his background and cultural heritage.
The women in his life are drawn with equal depth and concern for their humanity. Although he often attempts to manipulate them to his own ends, they are strong enough to reverse this trend and control him in ways he least expects.
There are a number of events outside the main topic of polygamous marriage that take Omar into situations the author has devised to demonstrate various social woes of the world. These fit well into the story and form a sort of illuminated parallel existence that’s both separate from and inevitably associated with his lifestyle choice.
Interestingly, although there are, almost inevitably since this is a book about the sexuality of a man with a big appetite for amorous encounters with women, detailed explanations of his physical engagement with his various partners, I found nothing erotic here. That may, of course, say more about me than about the nature of the depiction, who knows?
I enjoyed the philosophical debates, the short passages of cultural education, the glimpses into lives of people I’m unlikely to ever encounter in my own life, and the pictures the author paints of the various locations described in the book.
For me, the fact that Omar is from a wealthy background reduced my ability to take his problems as seriously as I might’ve had he had more of a struggle with everyday living. But, that aspect aside, I found the immersion into an entirely new culture in a land I’ve never visited to be instructive and informative.
This is a complex book filled with engaging characters, set in locations of real interest. The story, unfolding via many challenges, varies its pace to suit the action.
All in all, I found this an engaging tale that informed me without in any way altering my attitude to certain aspects of the issues depicted. In fact, in many instances it confirmed what were previously no more than suspicions about Muslim attitudes and priorities. Fortunately, for an agnostic, the religious aspect was heavily overlain with the cultural background, so I never felt I was being preached to. An enjoyable tale, which entertained whilst it informed and educated.
Profile Image for Kristine.
3,245 reviews
June 8, 2017
The Polygamist by William Irvine is a free NetGalley ebook that I read in early June.

Fancing himself a great womaniser as well as a devout Muslim and follower of Taoist priniciples, Omar moves to Goa and marries a woman named Yasmin...then a Sudanese woman named Aman (my favorite wife) and a Persian woman named Jamila. They cohabitate in Goa, create batiks for sale at market, and two sons are born 2-3 years later. It's an erotic and descriptively intimate book that doesn't flinch when telling truths about polygamy (surprising amount of boredom, taking sides amid mild to moderate marital spats, and being a responsible, forgiving husband with time and energy for everyone).
Profile Image for Danielle Tremblay.
Author 56 books119 followers
April 17, 2017
I win this book in GoodReads giveaways in exchange for an honest review.

We could wonder for a long time about what is the most natural for human beings: monogamy or polygamy. I read recently a scientific paper on Australopithecuses (Lucy and her kin), who were polygamous as most of hominids. I also read that only 5 % of mammals are monogamous. What should we think of the human beings especially in western societies and their "choice" for monogamy? We could speak, as certain authors don't hesitate to do and with good reasons, of serial monogamy, since nowadays, men and women who still get married divorce a few years later to pair themselves again with another partner.

From our western point of view, polygamy is a male fantasy, because women, as independent and capable of meeting their own needs as men, are today monogamous only in appearance (extramarital affairs). And more and more couples try to spice their sexual life by inviting another woman or another man for a hot evening.

All this to say that this book did not embarrass me at all. I appreciated the efforts of the author to give depth to all his characters, female and male, and make them live in a down-to-earth context so that his novel on polygamy seems more realistic.

But I could not help but think of my last menstrual periods surrounded by many other woman (co-workers), all our menstruation periods synchronized and all of us suffering from PMS during the same days of the month. I believe that to live with two other women whom I would not have chosen myself could create very tense situations especially in these special moments. And this male author didn't know how to show this particular difficulty of getting along with one another. This is already difficult when we are only a couple, it could become almost impossible for more people living together.

I liked this book a lot anyway, so I give it 4 stars.

Note: Sorry if my review contains mistakes, my native language is French and I'm still learning English. :) That's why I read English novels, biographies,...
Profile Image for Melanie.
7 reviews1 follower
August 4, 2017
this book is a great read, though i would recommend it mostly to people with an open mind.
the story itself was entertaining and hard to put down, despite being a male fantasy.
398 reviews23 followers
February 6, 2017
I was offered an e-copy for an honest review. Sorry it took so long to get through it, there were some download issues and whatnot but it's good now.

This was pretty different from most of the things I read, but that's more towards how most books focus on monogamy. Still I found the story very charming and enjoyable and I hope that more people will give it a read.
Profile Image for Jenn.
662 reviews
October 20, 2016
I received a copy of this on NetGalley for my review.

A man tries to find his place in the world, while marrying 3 women. I enjoyed this work of fiction, although some of it seemed a bit far fetched (and more like a male's fantasy). Still, it was an enjoyable read.
Profile Image for Magdalena.
146 reviews3 followers
December 2, 2016
While not my favourite genre, I really liked the book. It was a light and an easy read. While books about the protagonist trying to "finds his/her place" are not uncommon, this one takes a different path to explore the subject.
Profile Image for Trevor Durham.
256 reviews4 followers
August 2, 2017
The Polygamist felt sadly insulting, and self-inserting, in a misogynistic way of defining polygamy. While I do not understand all the ins and outs of polygamy, my polygamist friends and colleagues certainly do, and they could not enjoy this prose either.
Profile Image for Billy Buttons.
Author 19 books129 followers
September 12, 2018
This book was entered in The Wishing Shelf Book Awards. This is what our readers thought:
Title: The Polygamist
Author: William Irvine

Star Rating: 5 Stars
Number of Readers: 24
Stats
Editing: 9/10
Writing Style: 9/10
Content: 8/10
Cover: 10/10
Of the 24 readers:
22 would read another book by this author.
24 thought the cover was good or excellent.
22 felt it was easy to follow.
22 would recommend this story to another reader to try.
9 felt the author’s strongest skill was ‘plotting a story’.
15 felt the author’s strongest skill was ‘developing the characters’.
17 felt the pacing was good or excellent.
22 thought the author understood the readership and what they wanted.

Readers’ Comments
‘A fascinating read. Graphic, yes, but a book of this nature needs to be. A stimulating read – in every way!’ Male reader, aged 45
‘I have enough problems with one wife. Good read though. He’s a brave man.’ Male reader, aged 39
‘Very much from the male POV, and this is way I thought it was rather interesting. It’s like reading the thoughts of an alien. But I have to admit, I couldn’t put it down.’ Female reader, aged 55
‘A cleverly told tale of male sexuality.’ Female reader, aged 65

To Sum It Up:
‘Graphic. Illuminating. A very different way of thinking. A FINALIST and highly recommended.’ The Wishing Shelf Book Awards
Profile Image for Bookworm.
1,113 reviews200 followers
June 6, 2017
3.5 stars

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for an ARC in exchange for an honest review. I really enjoyed 75% of this book. As other reviewers have pointed out, it is written from a male fantasy perspective. I didn't mind this aspect and found the polygamist portions quite engaging. There were a couple of instances in which I found the author's perspective unrealistic and somewhat corny but again this wasn't too much of an issue. The author did a nice job in his character development so despite the protagonist's flaws, he was a likeable character. If the book had just focused on the story of Omar's polygamist lifestyle, this would have been a winner for me.

Where the story fell short was when the author went off on tangents that really had no business being there. The whole ending was a huge disappointment and honestly didn't make much sense. It felt like the story took a radical turn into lalaland. I would have much preferred to know more about the polygamist's relationship resolutions and what about his plans to take a fourth wife?

Would I recommend to others? I would if only for the polygamy bits. It was worth the read and I was engaged up until the last quarter of the story. After that point, I couldn't wait for it to be over.
Profile Image for Michael Van Vuuren.
9 reviews2 followers
March 6, 2019
I am familiar with the Author, William.
William, I am sorry. I tried to read this book. Twice.
I gave up after 5 chapters and a quick skim of the rest of the book.
I won't be leaving a thorough review as I didn't finish the book.
What I will say is this.
I found the book boring, convoluted and thick with what came across as shallow characterizations and observances of women. I did not. could not sympathize with Omar. The women, for the most part, were so shallowly presented that they seldom ranked much more than a brief description. The dialogue was weird, the time setting was not obvious, the location has me mostly confused. I initially gave up after a few chapters on my first attempt (I partly blame the ereader at that point) but after downloading it to the Kindle Fire 10HD, I found that it did not make for much improvement. The format of the book was initially interesting, but the plot structure just did nothing to enhance my experience so I gave up, then felt guilty and tried skimming through most of the rest of the book in hopes of finding anything that would grab my fancy.
I would not recommend this to anyone.
530 reviews1 follower
August 9, 2023
This was an interesting book - a little bit different from what I normally read. A blend of a normal fictional story that covers a man's later life as he goes through his question about his goal in life, as basically up until that point all he has valued is promiscuity. He decides the way to continue to live his life is to practice polygamy and take multiple wives. As (somewhat) is expected, he gets a variety of personalities and has a harder time juggling them all keeping them all happy and entertained. A bit of this also covers his spiritual and sexual journey towards enlightenment and even ends . An interesting read minimally from a different cultural perspective as well as a different perspective to sexuality and his religious experience.
124 reviews7 followers
May 10, 2017
I received this book from the giveaway from Goodreads. I kept turning pages until late at night so I could finish it. The Polygamist is different from the usual romances since it was written by a man. It almost seems like you are in the middle of a dream. Omar Al Ghamdi is traveling around trying to find his place in the world. I can definitely recommend this book.
432 reviews7 followers
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June 7, 2019
Interesting from a male perspective. Was lost in the ending. Seemed to be so mystical in comparison to the rest of the book. Still worth reading and bringing in to conversation.
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