This second book was not as hard to write as my first, for a couple of reasons. The first, and most importantly was that while I made many mistakes, and often choose poorly in my companions, none were as devastating as what I lived through with my first husband. Secondly, after writing the first book, I was more comfortable sharing my experiences. And lastly, my many wonderful and supportive interactions with my reviewers and readers gave me confidence that I had written a story worth sharing. And to continue sharing in this second book. My words to any person in an abusive relationship is this, You Are Not Alone. There is help and there are people who have been through what you are going through that understand. A great source for anyone in that situation is The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, NCADV, they are there with confidential help and support whatever your circumstances.

This has been my favorite correspondence from a reader: Thank you for allowing me to read your book. I thoroughly enjoyed it, yet even as I write this I know that ‘enjoyed’ isn’t the right word. It’s a complex book that left me happy, sad, exasperated, amused, horrified, frustrated and completely wrung out. At the end, I was completely awed by your courage. I doubt I could bare my soul in public as you have. I don’t know if congratulations is the right word, either, but it’s the best I can do. As you see, you’ve written a book that defies my ability to categorize and whose impact on me I cannot adequately describe. Kudos. I have received others that have touched my heart, like when I received an email from a woman who, after reading my book, contacted me saying she had found the courage to leave her abusive relationship. And another from a young man who told me that he had for years had a distant relationship with his mother because he couldn't understand why she stayed in an abusive relationship with his father. He told me that after reading my book, he was finally able to understand, and had reached out to her and rekindled their relationship. In some small way, I have helped change the lives of other people through my words. People I will probably never meet but because of my book I was able to make a difference anyway. It is both humbling and gratifying to know that.

It's going to be okay. You will be hurt, humbled, stressed out and will make horrible mistakes. But you will also have an amazing life full of laughter, love and friendships that will make it all worthwhile. I have no desire to change my past or go back to correct my mistakes, because they all went into making me the person that I am today, and I like this person and I don't think I would have grown into who I am now without them. I did not enjoy living through them, but each thing has taught me a hard won lesson, in life and about myself, that I would not trade away.

I see someone who can met any challenge that life has to throw my way. I may not like it, I may even look up at the universe and ask why it has to be my turn again, but I also know that somehow, someway I will make it through. One of the biggest lessons I have learned is to always accept people for who they are, right this minute. Not how I'd like them to be, or think about how I could change them to make them more likable, but simple acceptance of them. I think that is the secret to happiness in any relationship, acceptance without a desire to change a person.

The life of an Indie author is not an easy one. Everything from editing to marketing rest solely on your shoulders and all of it out of your own pocket as well. It's expensive to be an Indie, with no support network from a knowledgeable publishing house or personal publicist to help you navigate through pitfalls. It can be lonely and frustrating, and really expensive. But in the end, I believe, worth it to get your book out if you think you have something worth sharing. There was a huge learning curve, and I'm still learning new things all the time. And, sometimes I make awful mistakes or lose money trying new ways to market my books. It's all a roll of the dice that I can only hope that one day I will win… or at least break even. As for personal hurdles, there were many, and some you can read in this second book. But, I think life is like that for everyone, it interferes with our best laid plans leaving us scrambling to put things back together when they go wrong.

In my first book, It'll Feel Better when it Quits Hurting, a favorite of the group for me to share with new people was Marcus O'Realious. It's funny and horrifying all at the same time, and I always giggle when I tell it. In my second book, Wine Comes in Six-Packs, one of my favorites has to be Husband in a Corner. And yes, I will state for the record, I am a terrible person and yes, it was hysterical both then and now.

My perfect date? I don't think I have any idea of what that would be. I guess it would be food I've never had before, in a place I've never been, with a person who enjoys being spontaneous and open to whatever mad idea I may have, who doesn't embarrass easily.

All together, it took about two years to write. But, there were also long breaks while writing it as I dealt with life and all of its problems. Life always has a way of interfering with our best of intentions, and sometimes it would be a month between writing one story and the next as I tried to find time in between the chaos that is often my life. Cory was the first to read it, and when I watched him laugh, look horrified and occasionally look sad, I knew that I had written a good book. And I chose him because Cory is the person who pats me on the head, brings me a Snickers bar and tells me I can do it (and, make me believe it) when I feel like I can't any more.

If I had $10 million dollars, I would take some of it and fix my house, put in a second bathroom (a dream that one day I hope will become a reality), and pay all my debts. I would extend my third floor and create 4 more bedrooms so I could take in more people who are in need without crowding. Some I would set aside to travel the world. I want to see the world, all of it, and meet everyone. It's a big plan that will take the rest of my life and would be worth every minute of it. For the rest? I think I would like to create an Artist Retreat, and not for just writers, but painters, poets, storytellers, fire spinners, dancers, metal workers, musicians… anyone who has a desire to create. Someplace the creatives among us could live, work and share in a supportive environment what they have to offer to the world.

There is at least one more book, probably more to be truthful. But, I have a third already in outline form called Good Friends bring Shovels. It is the mirror book to Wine Comes in Six-Packs that tells the stories of my friendships and some of the more outrageous things I have done in my life. It covers the same approximate 20 years that Wine Comes in Six-Packs does, and when I began it they were all together. But the story became to unwieldy and I realized I was telling two different stories in one book, so I split them up. We all have at least two sides to ourselves, one is the person we are with when we are in an intimate relationship and the other is the person we are with with our friends. They do mix and blend, but we show different sides of ourselves depending on who we are with. So, while there are stories about my friendships in Wine Comes in Six-Packs, and stories about my relationships in Good Friends bring Shovels, they each have their own individual feel. So I hope if you have enjoyed my life so far, you will also enjoy my next one. This one is, honestly, just for fun. It is silly, funny, eye-rolling, I can't believe you would do that, stories. There is absolutely no lesson to be learned or wisdom to glean from it, it was written solely for the reason that these are my favorite stories, and to give you a good laugh. And, maybe, just maybe, make you feel better about some of the poor choices you have made while laughing at mine.

Before writing this book, I have in the past, written short articles on a variety of subjects ranging from parenting to budgeting. Most were well received and a few gained a little attention along the way. Most, I was happy with, and a few were eventually folded into my books to be reused after being rewritten as a chapter. But I can't point to any particular short story and say, "Yes, this was the one!".

You can blame my friends for the book. I have for many years told stories about my childhood and my life to my friends and others to both their horror and delight (often at the same time). Around ten years ago, they began to actively encourage me to put them all down in a book, after wiping the tears from their eyes at some story I had just told. Then about four years ago, I sat down at my computer and laid out an outline. I will admit, that the book I initially laid out is not the book you are reading. It changed a great deal as I wrote, amended, added and deleted as I searched for that perfect mix of "oh my god, I'm horrified" and "oh my god, I can't stop laughing".

I have two that I kept in the back of my head as I was writing, and they were Erma Bombeck and Christopher Titus. The first book I read by Erma Bombeck was, If Life is a Bowl of Cherries, what am I doing in the pits? I was in high school, and I laughed, and then I began reading more of her books, because I could relate to them. It was life, messy, disturbing, frustrating, and funny. And while our subject matter is similar, I didn't try to copy her, but the idea of making people laugh at the absurdity of life, which she was wonderful at, inspired me to do the same in my books. The other, Christopher Titus is not an author, but a comedian. I watched his stand up, Norman Rockwell is Bleeding, and thought, I understand! Like me, he had a dark childhood, and yet, could still laugh about it, like I could laugh about it. And just because the subject matter was dark, that didn't mean he couldn't make people laugh with him about it. My book is much the same way, the subject matter is sometimes dark, and there are some very dark moments in my books, but that doesn't mean we can't laugh about them together.

Honestly, my favorite books to read are actually SciFi books, with some fantasy thrown in as well. A few of my favorite authors are Robert A. Heinlein, Robert Jordan, Issac Asimov, Raymond E. Fiest, Anne Rice and Stephen King. I love their ability to transport me to new worlds, introducing new ideas and big sweeping plots that take my breath away, unable to put the book down until the end. Their ability to create whole new worlds and realities from their imagination is something I admire.

I've read a few, but each person has their own unique story, and a memoir is about your own personal voice to be clearly heard, unmuffled by someone else's. When writing my story, I wanted my voice to be heard, as I spoke and as I thought, unfiltered. Which also means there are times that I play fast and loose with the English language (something I have been scolded about by a few reviewers) but I want people to hear me, as I am, not always grammatically correct, as if I was standing before my readers, telling my story.

I think everyone's life is unique, we all experience the world in a very individual way, and in how we deal with it. But, we also all share the same world, which means we also share a kind of touchstone to each other's lives. When we tell stories to each other, it will often elicit a similar story from one of your listeners, not exact, but having the same feel even if the details are different. I think my book is like that, not exact, but familiar in circumstances. Not everyone has gone through the same steps in life as I have, but there are many times in my telling the reader may see points where our paths parallel each other, maybe a divorce, a special moment with a friend, a break up, a happy childhood memory of a grandparent, not exact, but close enough for the reader to think back on their own life and feel the echo of it.

I don't believe so. As I state several times throughout my book, "For better or for worse, this is my life and I would not change a single line." I made mistakes, I sometimes did silly or stupid things, sometimes I didn't even act in my own best interest, so when writing about my life, I embraced the totality of it, without trying to hide it from myself or my readers. There may be times that my readers may think, "Oh my god, why would she do that?!" and in general my answer has always been, "Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time." Sharing my stories, I did not write the book as the person I am now looking back at my life, I wanted to tell the tale as if it was happening, right now, without giving the readers any foreknowledge of what was to come. Because that was how I experienced my life. Oh, there were on occasion clues that things weren't going well, and sometimes I listened, and sometimes I didn't, and I share those as well, because we all get those gut feelings, that moment of "This may not go well". But as I wrote, I wanted my readers to be just as clueless as I was while it was happening, to watch the events unfold unknowing of what was to come, and be just as surprised at the outcome as I was. I suppose I could have written a fiction story, but I believe the impact of knowing that this was an actual person, going through a real life that makes the impact really hit home for people in a way I don't believe fiction could have.

I have truthfully tried to remain true to my story, and the people who are in it. After writing my first book, I did ask a few people from that time in my life to read it and tell me if I was accurate, and the answer always came back as, yes. Now, that didn't mean they always liked it, but they acknowledged it was a true accounting of my life. That being said, I did take a few liberties in timing. Some stories spanned many days or weeks, and for the sake of storytelling, I did condense or merge them. Still true, but edited. And some things I left out, because they weren't my secrets to share or because it didn't have any bearing on the overall story I was trying to tell. And, I am not always the hero of my story. I don't try to portray myself as anything other than what I was, sometimes happy, sometimes confused, sometimes angry, and sometimes completely clueless. I didn't always make the best choices, especially when I was angry or hurt, as I'm sure many of my readers can relate to. I'm human, and I have never tried to pretend I was anything other than what I was, someone stumbling through life, doing the best I could with the options given to me.

Honestly, no. The stories are already there, I just have to bring them out and share them. What I mostly lack is time to write, not the desire.

Oh, from about birth until now, and still working on it? This is a difficult question to answer, I think it might be for most people to answer honestly. My life is often a series of, "Oh my god what is this?" to "Okay this is good spot to hang out for awhile", and back again. I'm beginning to believe the universe when it planned for my life was off its bipolar meds, and giggling maniacally when it looked at me. But I think the most important thing I have learned is to forgive yourself for your mistakes. And if you can learn from them, give yourself some bonus points.

Maybe? We are the sum of our parts, and gaining my degree is part of my sum. I would say that it has had some influence, maybe not so much in my writing, but for the understanding I have about myself and other people because of that degree, that expresses itself in my writing.

Cory, AKA Squirrel-Boy read my, well, 4th draft. No one read 1 through 3 but me. You can read a little about Cory in my letter to my readers, but he is the one who brings me candy bars and pats me on the head and tells me I can do it when I get frustrated with my writing. Let me tell you a little secret to success when it comes to writing, make sure you have at least one person who can be your cheerleader, who believes in you, even when you've lost faith that you'll ever finish. He made the difference between continuing to write and giving up. When Cory was reading my book, I watched him to see how he would react, when he started shaking his head while tears fell out of his eyes, I knew then that I had written the book I had hoped for.

My second book picks up shortly before the end of It'll Feel Better when it Quits Hurting. I did this for a couple of reasons, but primarily, it was because I wanted people who had not read the first book to be able to pick up Wine Comes in Six-Packs without reading the first and know what was going on. It also expands upon things that are only briefly mentioned in the last chapter of It'll Feel Better when it Quits Hurting, giving those that had read the first book a better view of my life at that moment. The book then quickly sweeps on to cover another twenty or so years, using a similar episodic approach that I used in the first. In the second book, you'll notice one difference, each chapter title after the first, is named after a person. In this second book, I use each of my major relationships over that time to set the pace of the overall story. Relationships define who we are in many respects, they affect our decisions and our choices in a very fundamental way. And, unfortunately, we don't always choose wisely, I know I didn't. So in this second book, I used each disastrous relationship as a framework, because along with trying to figure out my life, I was also being influenced a great deal by their mistakes and choices as well. Who we love can bring us our greatest moments of joy and our worst moments a pain, often caused by the same person. And, I think just about every person can identify with those mistakes, I think we've all had at least one relationship that brought out our best, and our worst, before we walked away, looking for our next big possible mistake. I want to share this with you also, this book was split into two, there will a third book, Good Friends Bring Shovels, that will also deal with this same time frame, from a different vantage point. It is an exploration of my friendships, my mistakes and some of the truly idiotic things I have done in my life, all on my own. When I first sat down to write this second book, I had all the stories combined, but it quickly became too unwieldy, and began to drift all over the place. I realized it was because I was telling two different stories, and while they happened together, were very different aspects of my life. The second and third book are mirror pieces, written to reflect off one another, yet can be read completely independently. You'll see a little of my friendships in Wine Comes in Six-Packs, just as you'll see a little bit of my relationships in Good Friends Bring Shovels.

Motherhood is insanity that we voluntarily inflict on ourselves out of love. It is being on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and if you're lucky you might get some vacation time every few years or so. Don't get me wrong, being a mother has been one of the most rewarding things I have ever done, but it has also been the most stressful, infuriating, dumbfounding things I've ever undertaken. Children make you utter words that you never thought you would string together, and leave you standing mouth agape struggling to understand what, exactly, just happened. They have made me laugh when I thought my world was about to end, and have made me cry when they were the reason for the world ending. They have been for almost 30 years now, an endless source of amusement and frustration that I wouldn't give up for anything else. Motherhood is not for the faint of heart, it is all your worst nightmares and your brightest dreams rolled into one, with no beginning or end between the two. And, in the not to distant future I will also be writing about them, the book is there, with a title and everything. I'm simply waiting for my youngest to turn 18 so I have all of their stories before writing it. So, in three or four years, if you happen to stumble across a book called, Things They Never Told Me, pick it up and you can share my life with children, and probably laugh at me when you do.

I stumbled quite randomly upon your site when you were still QuotesRain, and it was one of my better stumbles. Out of any site I have used, this one has been the most responsive and helpful, always ready to answer a question or fix a problem. With AllAuthor, I feel like I have a site that is as excited about my book as I am, ready to cheer me on and wish me well as I continue to write.

I state at the beginning of my book, "I do not believe I have any wisdom to share in this telling, nor is it even an inspirational tale of achievement by overcoming adversity, it is simply my life that I have survived." My book isn't about wrapping my life up into neat bow, and ending it with "and they lived happily ever after." because that isn't real life. My story will only have an ending when I am gone, and then someone else will have to share that tale if it is to be told. But, that being said, there are a few things I could share from the things I have learned over the years for anyone interested. Be gentle with yourself. If you make a mistake, correct it if you can, learn from it and try not to repeat it if at all possible. If you're given the choice between an old mistake and a new one, always choose the new one. It still may not turn out well, but at least you can learn something new from it. Love yourself. You are the only person from birth to death that you'll have to live with, forever. Parents, children, family and friends will come and go, only you have to live with yourself without a break for that entire time, so make sure that person is someone you like. And if you don't, figure out what it is about you that you don't like and work on it. It won't be quick or easy, but you are worth the effort. There is beauty in imperfection. We are all a work in process, there is no such thing as a completely finished human being, and that's okay. The Mona Lisa is one of the most beloved paintings in the world, and it remains to this day, a work in progress. Leonardo Di Vince was still working on it on his deathbed, and never finished his masterpiece. We are all like that painting, a masterpiece and a work in process all at once. Just remember, life is messy and none of us are getting out alive, but that's okay. What matters is how we spend the time in between the beginning and the end of our story. We are the sum of every aspect of our lives, both the good and the bad, and we fill the pages of our lives with those moments. Make yours a good story, one that when you can stand before the great beyond and are asked about your life, you can say, "Okay, picture this..." and have them laughing and crying at your tale, happily waving you onward to your next adventure. From the Author to the Readers: During this interview I was given some very serious questions, that I tried to seriously answer to the best of my abilities, from my point of view. I will be truthful with you now, I'm not a very serious person in my actual life. I can be serious, but I more often choose to give myself up to the simple joy of living, telling jokes, laughing often and often in serious need of a sarcasm font when typing. My book, like myself, is not very serious for all the serious moments it contains. I want you to laugh with me, I want you to experience my life as I lived it, and with the same joy I had while going through whatever life threw at me. There were times when I was sad, but even then, there will often be a small tug of smile through the tears while your reading it, because I want you to laugh with me. Because, hey! I made it out alive! How about that?! I'm still here, wondrously cracked, beautifully bent and put back together with Elmer's glue, but not broken, never broken. A few years ago, a younger friend of mine said in all seriousness to me, "When you're gone I'll miss your laughter the most. I can't imagine going the rest of my life never hearing you laugh again." And so, I laughed at her, and then made her a video of me laughing. Going through 20 years of video, I gave her an hour of my laughter throughout my life, to keep forever. She will never have to go the rest of her life without my laughter, and that dear reader, is how I want to be remembered. Not by my serious moments, not the mundane steps I took to get from here to there, but for my laughter, my joy and my unwavering optimism even as the world crashed down around me more than once. I hope you enjoyed this interview, and that maybe it gave you some insight into how I look at the world. I hope it will encourage you to read my book, and then if you feel like it, you can share how you feel about it to me personally (you can find my contact information at the front of my book) or through a review if you're so inclined (happy dance time!). In the end, I hope that I can make you laugh, maybe feel better about your own mistakes while laughing at mine, and to tell you one last thing, never give up, because life can be a wondrous and joyful thing. Be kind to each other, help one another, don't give up even if you've fallen down a hundred times, because that's how we learn, from our mistakes as much as from our triumphs. Maybe even more so.