Peter J. Boni Interview Published on: 12, Sep 2023
Can you tell us more about your childhood and how it influenced your path as an author and advocate?
MY CHILDHOOD WAS DISRUPTIVE, WITH A SICK DAD. AND MANY MOVES ACROSS SEVERAL STATES. I ATTENDED ELEVEN DIFFERENT SCHOOLS FROM THE 4TH TO THE 8TH GRADE. THE NEW KID ON THE BLOCK TOO OFTEN NEEDS TO FIIGHT HIS WAY TO SCHOOL I GOT TIRED OF FIGHTING AND LEARNED IT WAS EASIER TO BE CHARMING. I CREDIT MY ADAPTABILITY TO THE WHOLE EXPERIENCE.
DAD TOOK HIS OWN LIFE WHEN I WAS SIXTEEN. I STIFLED THE TRAUMA OF IT ALL. A DECADE LATER, i STIFLED THE TRAUMA OF VIETNAM COMBAT AS A VETERAN RETURNING TO AN UNWELCOMING SOCIETY. WHEN I WAS FORTY NINE MY SEVENTY FIVE YEAR OLD MOTHER SUFFERED A POST OPERATIVE STROKE. ALL THE LOCKS THAT GUARDED HER SECRET NO LONGER WORKED. SHE SPILLED THE BEANS...DAD WASN’T BIOLOGICALLY MY FATHER; HE WAS STERILE. I WAS CONCEIVED WITH THE HELP OF A HARVARD UNIVERSITY FERTILITY PRACTITIONER, A SECRETIVE PROCESS AND AN ANONYMOUS SPERM DONOR. I HAD ALWAYS TAKEN MY DNA FOR GRANTED. I EXPERIENCED THE TRAUMA OF IDENTITY DISRUPTION FROM THAT MISATTRIBUTION.
NEW TRAUMA, I LEARNED, SERVES AS A CATALYST TO RESURGE OLD TRAUMAS THOUGHT LONG PAST. I SOUGHT THERAPY TO DEAL WITH IT ALL. MY THERAPIST OBSERVED, “YOU HIT A TRIFECTA!” TO BETTER HELP ME THROUGH THE IDENTITY TRAUMA, I RESEARCHED THE DAYLIGHTS OUT OF THE SCIENCE THAT HELPED CREATE ME. TO HEAL, I WAS COMPELLED TO REVEAL UPROOTED IS BOTH A DEEPLY INTIMATE MEMOIR AS WELL AS A TELL-ALL EXPOSE` ON THE PRACTICES OF THE MULTI BILLION DOLLAR FERTILITY INDUSTRY. THOSE PRACTICES ENABLE THE CONCEPTION OF DOZENS, EVEN HUNDREDS, OF OFFSPRING PER DONOR WHO HAVE NO KNOWLEDGE OF ONE ANOTHER, WITH NO REQUIREMENT FOR DONOR GENETIC TESTING & HEALTH HISTORY, NO SIBLING REGISTRY, NO COUNSELING FOR DONORS OR RECIPIENTS ABOUT THE NEEDS OF THE DONOR-CONCEIVED, AND NO LAWS TO PENALIZE BLATANT FERTILITY FRAUD. BREEDING PUPPIES ENJOYED GREATER REGULATORY OVERSIGHT,
How did your experience as a US Army Special Operations Team Leader in Vietnam shape your perspective on leadership and adversity?SPECIAL OPS' COMMISSIONED OFFICER CASUALTY RATES IN VIETNAM COMBAT WERE STATISTICALLY MUCH LOWER THAN REGIMENTAL INFANTRY OFFICERS'. THAT SEEMED COUNTERINTUITIVE, BUT MY EXPERIENCE TAUGHT ME WHY. MISSIONS REQUIRED MORE OF THE SCAPEL AND LESS OF THE SLEDGEHAMMER; COMMANDERS WERE BETTER THAN THE AVERAGE BEAR, AND TROOPS WERE HIGHLY MOTIVATED AND EXCEPTIONALLY WELL TRAINED. EVERYONE WAS A SPECIALIST AT SOMETHING. MISSIONS WERE HIGHLY COMPLEX, AND PREPARATION FOR THEM REQUIRED COLLECTIVE WISDOM, TO NOT ONLY ACCOMPLISH THE MISSIONS WITH MERIT, BUT DO SO WITH FEWER CASUALTIES AND LESS COLLATERAL DAMAGE. I ATTRIBUTE MY COLLABORATIVE LEADERSHIP STYLE UNDER EXTREME ADVERSITY TO WHAT WAS REALLY A LIFE-ALTERING EXPERIENCE.
Were you an avid reader as a child? Do you still read books?YES, AND YES.I ALWAYS ENJOYED READING ALL GENRES. AS AN ADULT, I FIND MYSELF MOST ATTRACTED TO HISTORICAL FICTION AND WHAT I CONSIDER RIVETING NON-FICTION.
What was the first story you ever wrote and did you ever publish it?TO BE HONEST, I DON’T RECALL MY FIRST STORY…LIKELY FOR AN ENGLISH CLASS IN SCHOOL. I BEGAN WRITING LEADERSHIP-RELATED ARTICLES FOR BUSINESS MAGAZINES WHILE A HIGH TECH CEO FOR COMPANIES TRANSITIONING FROM DIFFICULT CIRCUMSTANCES. THAT LED TO MY FIRST BOOK.
In your book, All Hands on Deck, you discuss navigating teams through crises and getting organizations unstuck. Could you share some key lessons from your book that leaders can apply in challenging situations?A COMPOSITE OF MY COMBAT LEADERSHIP EXPERIENCE AND WHAT IHAD LEARNED FROM REPOSITIONING COMPANIES IN DIFFICULTY LED TO MY APPROACH, WHICH I HAVE LABELED “THE ABC'S TO ADVANCE.” THE OPENING CHAPTER RECOUNTS A CASE STUDY OF AN 18TH CENTURY SEA CAPTAIN, ACCLAIMED “THE GREATEST CAPTAIN OF THEM ALL” FOR HIS APPROACH TO LEAD SHIPWRECKED PASSENGERS AND CREW FROM A REMOTE PACIFIC ISLAND TO SAFETY AND RESCUE. USING THIS CASE STUDY AND CITING SEVERAL OTHER CORROBORATING SITUATIONS, ALL HANDS ON DECK HIGHLIGHTS A LEADERSHIP PROCESS TO ADVANCE AN ORGANIZATION AND ADVANCE A CAREER . THE APPROACH HAS THREE PHASES: 1) HATCH THE PLAN; 2) KICK OFF THE PLAN; AND 3) EXECUTE THE PLAN. EACH PHASE HAS FOUR STEPS. THEY BEGIN WITH THE LETTERS A, B, C, AND S; HENCE, THE “ABC’S TO ADVANCE."
How do you balance your personal life, including your active physical regimen and time with family and friends, with your professional commitments as an author and advocate?BALANCE HAS ALWAYS BEEN A CHALLENGE FOR MY “WORK HARD—PLAY HARD” APPROACH. I’M GETTING MUCH BETTER AT IT, BUT IT STILL IS WORK IN PROCESS. INTHE AGGREGATE, I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO APPORTION TIME FOR, MY FAMILY, MY PROFESSION, AND JUST FOR ME. BUT WHEN ACCOMPLISHING A GOAL REQUIRES FOCUS AND INTENSITY, I’M ALL IN AND OUT OF BALANCE.
What advice do you have for aspiring authors who want to make a positive impact in their fields?IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE GOING, ANY ROAD WILL TAKE YOU THERE. I’D ADVISE TO ESTABLISH A GOAL OR TWO ON THE FRONT END TO GIVE YOURSELF DIRECTION. FOR INSTANCE, FOR UPROOTED, I ESTABLISHED THREE GOALS TO GIVE ME THAT DIRECTION AND MEASURE MY SUCCESS. 1) INFLUENCE FERTILITY INDUSTRY PRACTICES POSITIVELY. I’M ALL FOR SCIENCE TO ENABLE WANTING PEOPLE TO HAVE A FAMILY, WITH CONSIDERATION FOR THE VERY PEOPLE THE SCIENCE CREATES…PEOPLE LIKE ME; 2) INFLUENCE THE LEGISLATIVE AGENDA FOR REGULATION ALONG THE LINES OF A DONOR-CONCEIVED BILL OF RIGHTS; AND 3) SPEAK TO THE NEEDS AND EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING OF ALL PEOPLE WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED THE TRAUMA OF LATE-DISCOVERY MISATTRIBUTION, NO MATTER THE REASON…CLOSED ADOPTION, EXTRA-MARITAL AFFAIR, ONE NIGHT STAND, SEXUAL ASSAULT, SWITCHED AT BIRTH, RAISED BY ANOTHER FAMILY MEMBER, OR, LIKE ME, DONOR-CONCEIVED.TO DATE, THE STATE OF COLORADO’S GOVERNOR HAS SIGNED THE DONOR-CONCEIVED BILL OF RIGHTS, A FEW OTHER STATES ARE DRAFTING BILLS FOR CONSIDERATION. TWELVE STATES HAVE ENACTED FERTILITY FRAUD LEGISLATION, AND THERE HAS BEEN ACTIVITY IN SUPPORT OF FEDERAL LEGISLATION. IT’S BEEN A SLOW, PAIN-STAKING PROCESS, BUT SUCCESS USUALLY BREEDS SUCCESS.
Did you encounter any surprising or particularly compelling stories during your research that you chose to include in the book, Uprooted?THE 10 TOP SECRETS OF ASSISTED REPRODUCTIVE TECHNOLOGY BLEW ME AWAY. THEY’RE ALL EXPLORED FURTHER IN THE BOOK. 1) DONOR-INSEMINATION WAS PERFECTED BY A MAD RUSSIAN SCIENTIST, WHO HISTORY HAS LABELED “RED FRANKENSTEIN.” SEVERAL OTHER FRANKENSTEIN’S HAVE FOLLOWED. 2) THE FIRST ARTIFICIAL INSEMINATION WAS ALLEGED BY MEDIEVAL KING TO ENABLE HIS DAUGHTER’S SUCCESSION TO HIS THRONE. HIS HALF-SISTER OPPOSED AND MADE HER OWN HISTORY…QUEEN ISABELA. 3) THE FATHER OF MODERN GYNECOLOGY GAINED HIS KNOWLEDGE BY OPERATING ON ENSLAVED WOMEN WITHOUT BENEFIT OF ANESTHESIA. HE’S NOW KNOWN AS THE JOSEPH MENDEL OF HIS TRADE. 4) THE FIRST HUMAN DONOR INSEMINATION WAS ESSENTIALLY A CRIMINAL ACT PERPETRATED ON A CHLOROFORMED WOMAN IN A MEDICAL SCHOOL CLASSROOM…IN 1884. 5) CHURCH AND STATE DROVE THE WHOLE PRACTICE UNDERGROUND. A 1945 TIME ARTICLE RECOUNTED A LEGAL PRECEDENT IN THE COURTROOM TO DECLARE A DONOR CONCEIVED CHILD TO BE ILLEGITIMATE. THE TITLE OF THAT ARTICLE WAS TELL-TALE; “ARTIFICIAL BASTARDS?” YES, THAT WAS WITH A QUESTION MARK. 6) THE PRACTICE OF EUGENICS (SELECTIVELY CHOSEN) GUIDED THE METHODOLOGY OF ASSISTED REPRODUCTIVE TECHNOLOGY. 7) FROZEN BULL SEMEN FROM CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY CONCEIVED “FROSTY" THE BULL IN 1953. THIS SCIENTIFIC ADVANCEMENT LED TO THE CURRENT WILD WEST OF UNREGULATED GAMETE DISTRIBUTION DRIVEN BY MONEY. 8) 21ST CENTURY CONSUMER DNA SCIENCE HAS OBSOLETED 20TH CENTURY FERTILITY INDUSTRY PRACTICES, BUT THEY REMAIN PRACTICED NONETHELESS; 9) MODERN FERTILITY RATES ARE DOWN 50% SINCE 1980, WHILE THE POPULATION OF DONOR-CONCEIVED IS UP 50% SINCE 2010; 10) THE NEXT “RED FRANKENSTEIN” HAS YET TO BE NICKNAMED, SINCE ETHICS HAVEN’T CAUGHT UP WITH THE SCIENCE. WILL A HUMAN CLONE BE NEXT?
How do you handle negative reviews or feedback about your work, and what advice do you have for aspiring authors on dealing with criticism?ALL CONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK I VIEW AS GOOD FOR ME, AND I TRY TO LEARN FROM THAT FEEDBACK. YOU CAN’T PLEASE EVERYONE AND SHOULDN’T TAKE NEGATIVE FEEDBACK PERSONALLY. THAT’S EASIER TO SAY, I UNDERSTAND. BETWEEN AMAZON AND GOOD READS, UPROOTED IS APPROACHING 200 REVIEWS. NOT ALL ARE POSITIVE, BUT WITH A 4.8 OUT OF 5 STAR SCORE, I MUST HAVE DONE SOMETHING RIGHT.
Can you share some memorable moments from your travels to San Francisco and New York City with your growing family?I NEVER KNEW A GRANDFATHER WHEN I WAS A CHILD AND HAVE NO ROLE MODEL ALL THE TIME I SPEND SPOILING MY GRANDCHILDREN (IN NEW YORK AND SAN FRANCISCO) I TREAT AS A MEMORABLE LEARNING EXPERIENCE. WE CONTINUE TO BUILD MEMORIES AND HAVE FUN IN THE PROCESS.
What are your future plans and projects? Can we expect more books from you in the future?I’VE BEEN DONATING BOOK PROCEEDS TO TWO ADVOCACY ORGANIZATIONS THAT ARE PROMOTING LEGISLATIVE OVERSIGHT ON THE ASSISTED REPRODUCTIVE TECHNOLOGY INDUSTRY. SINCE UPROOTED’S PUBLICATION, MY TIME HAS THUS FAR BEEN SPENT PROMOTING THE BOOK AND SPEAKING BEFORE VARYING LEGISLATIVE ORGANIZATIONS. PERHAPS THAT EXPERIENCE WILL LEAD TO A SEQUEL OF SORTS, BUT I’VE REMAINED TOO FOCUSED ON ACHIEVING MY THREE GOALS FOR UPROOTED TO GIVE THAT GENUINE CONSIDERATION SO FAR..
When did you join AllAuthor? How has your experience been?ONCE UPROOTED WAS PUBLISHED, I REALIZED I NEEDED MORE HELP. ALLAUTHOR HAS BEEN A FINE SOURCE OF ADVCE, COUNSEL AND TOOLS TO BETTER HELP MARKET AND POSITION MY BOOK, BASED UPON ITS PLETHORA OF EXPERIENCE. MY OLD ADAGE... IN BOTH MY BUSINESS AND MY LIFE…ANYONE TRYING TO HELP ME IS A FRIEND. WHEN FRIENDS COME EQUIPPED WITH PARTICULAR EXPERTISE, THEY BECOME TRUSTED ALLIES. ALLAUTHOR HAS BECOME A WELCOMED ALLY.
