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Twice a Daughter: A Search for Identity, Family, and Belonging Kindle Edition

4.5 out of 5 stars 1,206 ratings

Julie is adopted. She is also a twin. Because their adoption was closed, she and her sister lack both a health history and their adoption papers—which becomes an issue for Julie when, at forty-eight years old, she finds herself facing several serious health issues.

To launch the probe into her closed adoption, Julie first needs the support of her sister. The twins talk things over, and make a pact: Julie will approach their adoptive parents for the adoption paperwork and investigate search options, and the sisters will split the costs involved in locating their birth relatives. But their adoptive parents aren’t happy that their daughters want to locate their birth parents—and that is only the first of many obstacles Julie will come up against as she digs into her background.

Julie’s search for her birth relatives spans eight years and involves a search agency, a PI, a confidential intermediary, a judge, an adoption agency, a social worker, and a genealogist. By journey’s end, what began as a simple desire for a family medical history has evolved into a complicated quest—one that unearths secrets, lies, and family members that are literally right next door.
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From the Publisher

Kirkus Reviews quote: Engaging endearing chronicle of a woman's quest to find her origins

Story Circle: Testament to evolving social norms & a recognition of family bonds

Readers' Favorite: Compelling poignant memoir about the search for truth & belonging

Linda Joy Myers: About discoveries that searching for truth reveals...how it sets you free

Editorial Reviews

Review

2022 16th Annual National Indie Excellence Awards Finalist in Parenting & Family
2022 International Book Awards Winner in Parenting & Family
2022 International Book Awards Finalist in Best New Nonfiction, Nonfiction: Narrative, and Women’s Issues / Women’s Studies
2022 Independent Press Awards Distinguished Favorite in Parenting & Family
2021 CIBA Nellie Bly Book Awards Finalist
2021 NYC Big Book Awards Winner in Personal Growth
2021 NYC Big Book Awards Distinguished Favorite in Parenting & Family
2021 Living Now Awards Gold Winner in Memoir—Female

2021 Nonfiction Book Awards Silver Winner in Biography & Memoir—General

2021 Readers' Favorite Book Awards Honorable Mention in Non-Fiction: Relationships
Indiana Press Award Winner in Memoir


“An engaging, endearing chronicle of a woman’s quest to find her origins.”
Kirkus Reviews

“The award-winning 
Twice a Daughter: A Search for Identity, Family, and Belonging by Julie Ryan McGue is a compelling, poignant memoir about the search for truth and belonging.”
Readers' Favorite

“With reverence for mystery, Julie Ryan McGue navigates a silence among family known and unknown to unearth her identity.
Twice a Daughter is an act of patience and courage—the courage to confront the past and the patience to endure the path toward revelation. Weaving together humor and pathos, McGue’s tale of redemption offers hope to anyone seeking to know and be known as they truly are.”
—Jonathan Callard, writer and teacher at the University of Pittsburgh

“Rarely does an adoptee rights advocate and legislator have the chance to witness the results of their efforts in such a profound and personal way as in
Twice a Daughter. Julie’s success in opening her sealed adoption records did not just gratify and inspire, it lifted me up! Every adoptee deserves to know their identity, the first chapter of their life, and the circumstances of their birth. It is their personal story and a basic human right. Keep up the fight!”
—Sara Feigenholtz, adoptee and Illinois State Senator

“Julie McGue’s quest memoir is an extraordinary account of a woman’s midlife search for her birth parents and the medical history she and her twin sister desperately need. Julie engagingly narrates a roller coaster ride of challenges and triumphs. I was moved by this suspenseful tale that ultimately celebrates the meaning of family in all its forms.”
—Joelle Fraser, author of
The Territory of Men and The Forest House

“This book is about lies and secrets, disappointment and loss, and hope and wonder. A true story that details how the pursuit of truth and healing becomes the alchemy that turns pain into gold.”
—Sara Connell, author of
Bringing in Finn

Why didn’t my birth mother keep me? Was I a bad baby? Do I have siblings? What about my medical history? These are some of the universal questions asked by adoptees both young and old. Although a memoir, Twice a Daughter is also the tale of every adoptee’s search for answers, connection, relationship, and family. It’s a must-read for all members of the adoption triad: birth parents, adoptive parents, and adoptees.”
—Nancy Golden, cofounder of the Midwest Adoption Center

“A masterful storyteller, Julie Ryan McGue probes her inner life as one of an adopted pair of twin sisters who are on a search for biological roots in their big, fun Irish Catholic adoptive family. In
Twice a Daughter, the road to genetic connection may be fraught with hidden roadblocks but the destinations open up to the widest horizons of the heart authenticity, courage, wholeness, and compassion.”
—Diane Dewey, author of
Fixing the Fates: An Adoptee’s Story of Truth and Lies

“Julie conveys the range of emotions felt by adopted persons who yearn for answers and connection with biological relatives. She allows the reader access to her most private experiences of vulnerability, pain, fear, anger, and joy. This book reminds us that there are losses, both ambiguous and clear, at the foundation of adoption. They are experienced differently by birth parents, adopted persons, adoptive parents, and other family members. There is power in sharing these accounts with others, and much to be gained by learning to listen to someone’s most deeply felt experiences.”
—Lisa Francis, LCSW, Post Adoption Services, Catholic Charities, Chicago

“Julie McGue entered the labyrinth of her adoption search with many questions:
Who am I? Where did I come from? What tribe do I belong to? Her memoir is not just another tale of an adoptee’s search for truth; her craft and candor turn this into an inspirational story of perseverance and resiliency, one with well-deserved payoffs. Ultimately, this is a story about the discoveries that searching for the truth reveals—how it sets you free and offers the gift of love.”
—Linda Joy Myers, founder of the National Association of Memoir Writers and author of
Don’t Call Me Mother

Twice a Daughter is an enchanting story about searching and fighting for hidden information and what it means to be adopted—to wrestle with love, pain, rejection, and acceptance. We can all find pieces of our own stories reflected in Julie’s compelling words. This is a must-read for everyone—especially those touched by adoption.”
—Linda Fiore, director of Adoption Center for Family Building



Twice a Daughter: A Search for Identity, Family, and Belonging is a marvelous book. . . . This memoir will take you on an emotional rollercoaster and move you to tears. A page-turning read that is as affecting as it is superbly written . . .” 
The Book Commentary 

About the Author

Born in Chicago, Julie Ryan McGue is a memoirist, blogger, and a columnist. Her writing centers on finding out about who you are, where you belong, and making sense of it. Julie's weekly essays focus on identity, family, and life's quirky moments.  She has served multiple terms on the board of the Midwest Adoption Center and is a member of the American Adoption Congress. Besides her laptop, Julie loves her Steinway, Nikon camera, and tennis racquet. Married for over thirty years, she is the mother of four adult children and has three grandsons. She splits her time between Northwest Indiana and Sarasota, Florida.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B08DKHQBL4
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ She Writes Press
  • Accessibility ‏ : ‎ Learn more
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ May 11, 2021
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 635 KB
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 290 pages
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1647420512
  • Page Flip ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.5 out of 5 stars 1,206 ratings

About the author

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Julie Ryan McGue
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Julie Ryan McGue is an award-winning American writer. Her most recent novel, Belonging Matters, a collection that explores the pursuit of identity and the boundaries of family and kinship, is a Silver Winner in the Non Fiction Book Awards, an Honorable Mention in the Books Shelf Nonfiction Writing Contest, a Literary Titan Book Award Winner, a finalist in the Wishing Shelf Book Awards, and a Firebird Book Award Winner. Julie was born in Chicago, Illinois. She and her identical twin sister were adopted together. Julie's debut memoir, Twice a Daughter, is about the search for birth relatives. She writes about finding out who you are, where you belong, and making sense of it. Her weekly blogs focus on identity, family, and life's quirky moments. If she's not at her computer writing, she's out exploring with her camera, or on the tennis court. She is the mother of four adult children, a grandmother, and splits her time between NW Indiana and Sarasota.

Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
1,206 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find this memoir riveting from cover to cover, with well-written prose that's easy to read. They describe it as a heart-felt novel that keeps readers engaged from the first chapter, with one review noting how the author doesn't sugarcoat her experiences. The pacing is engaging, with one customer mentioning how readers can picture each scene.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

47 customers mention "Story quality"47 positive0 negative

Customers describe this memoir as a riveting and heartwarming journey from cover to cover, with one customer noting it is particularly relatable for adoptees.

"...is one that I could hardly put down for a break..I am so glad it had a happy ending,even after the birth mothers giving wrong info on the father...." Read more

"...I run away from Catholicism as fast as I can, but this story kept me intrigued...." Read more

"...against all odds of Julie to find her birth parents and the amazing story that came from that search. Heartwarming tale for sure!" Read more

"A very relatable story for any adoptee as we share so many emotions, thoughts, and anxieties, but it is much more than that. It’s a story of life...." Read more

33 customers mention "Writing style"33 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the writing style of the book, finding it well-written and easy to read, with one customer noting how the author draws readers in with vivid descriptions.

"...Julie’s writing was so “real””,” concise, and clear that I could identify with her families...." Read more

"I give the author 5 ☆ for 'Twice a Daughter.' Julie's writing is clear, crisp, and descriptive. Readers will enjoy her warm prose...." Read more

"This highly readable and enjoyable book took me deep into the heart and mind of the author during a tense and bittersweet time of her life...." Read more

"...I imagine these are a tribute not only to her creativity as a writer but also to her years of journaling...." Read more

27 customers mention "Readability"27 positive0 negative

Customers find the book highly readable, with many loving it from the first chapter, and one customer noting it keeps them engaged from one chapter to the next.

"...this book without really knowing what it was about and loved it from the first chapter!..." Read more

"...All this said, this is a good read especially for anyone connected with adoption." Read more

"What a great book...." Read more

"...that differs from those who share biology, buy this book and settle in for a good read...." Read more

23 customers mention "Heartwarming"23 positive0 negative

Customers find the book heartwarming, describing it as poignant and thoughtful, with one customer noting how the roadblocks are intertwined with raw emotions.

"...Ms. McGue's work is both poignant and thoughtful...." Read more

"...both families, the adventure of the search, the disappointment and the joy within each discovery, the tears and the laughter that comes with every..." Read more

"...the possibilities, the rejection, the relief, the loss, the tears of joy, the flashes of anger, and the happy surprises...." Read more

"...deep feelings including her anger, sadness, hopes, and realities of each turn of events...." Read more

4 customers mention "Pacing"4 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the pacing of the book, with one noting it's fast-paced and engaging from the first page, while another mentions how well it sets the scene and how readers can picture each scene.

"...The reader can picture each scene since Julie has a knack for giving us telling details...." Read more

"...Engaging from the first page all the way to the last - including tears, smiles and jaw-dropping revelations at the end." Read more

"Julie's wonderful true story reads like a fast-paced, heart-felt novel...." Read more

"...I thought it was well written. It gave a realistic example..." Read more

Fascinating Memoir
5 out of 5 stars
Fascinating Memoir
At close to 50 years old and after suffering some health scares, adoptee Julie along with her twin sister, Jenny, decide to find their birth parents in the hope of getting medical information for themselves and their children. What starts as a quest for medical knowledge, takes Julie close to 5 years before she finally finds some resolutions. She also finds plenty of startling discoveries along the way. This book takes you on the journey of the legal hoops and emotional roller coaster that finding ones birth parents can encompass. This book also begs the question of the rights of adoptees to find their birth parents vs the privacy rights of the birth parents. Julie’s journey is absolutely fascinating and I was shocked by both how much it costs and the legal complexities of trying to find birth parents. I think the book also does a great job in expressing just how much patience one has to have in finding birth parents. Julie also gives us insights into the precarious tightrope of both establishing relationships with birth families and maintaining relationships with adoptive parents. This was a captivating and insightful read. I received this copy as a gift. My thought and opinions are honest and my own.
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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on April 5, 2025
    Julie Ryan McGue’s Twice a Daughter isn’t just a memoir — it’s a heart-call. A truth-quest. A soul-hunt for the missing pieces. As a fellow adoptee, I felt her every frustration, every glimmer of hope, every gut-punch of rejection and silence.

    But what struck me most — what stayed with me long after the last page — was the bond between Julie and her twin sister, Jenny. There’s something sacred about a shared search. About being mirrored, side-by-side, in both origin and longing. Their connection is the steady heartbeat pulsing beneath this story. Julie might be the one pushing forward, but Jenny is there — a quiet anchor, a presence that softens the sharp edges. It reminded me just how powerful shared stories are… and how devastating it would be if they’d been separated at birth. That haunting what if lingers.

    Julie writes with honesty that doesn’t flinch and clarity that doesn’t try to tidy the mess. She opens the locked doors of her adoption with grace and grit, while refusing to stay silent about the red tape, sealed files, and emotional tug-of-war that so many of us adoptees face.

    Twice a Daughter is both deeply personal and profoundly universal. It’s about finding birth parents — yes — but more than that, it’s about reclaiming a sense of self. It’s about giving voice to a story long buried beneath shame, silence, and societal red tape.

    For anyone who's ever searched for something that feels just out of reach — this one’s for you.
    For adoptees, it’s a mirror.
    For the world, it’s a wake-up.
  • Reviewed in the United States on February 13, 2025
    I chanced upon this book without really knowing what it was about and loved it from the first chapter! Julie writes so well that I almost felt I was having a conversation with her.

    The book resonated with me because I have been on a journey similar to what Julie and Jenny have been through.

    At age 65, I did a DNA test through Ancestry.com, and when I received the results, I learned that my Dad was not really my Dad! My Mother had an affair with another man, and I am the result of their relationship. My natural father died when I was about 3, so I never met him, and his son, my half-brother, is deceased, too. I have tried contacting the daughter of my natural father’s brother and was told never to contact the family again.

    Julie’s writing was so “real””,” concise, and clear that I could identify with her families. I am glad I purchased this book, and although I will never meet my natural father’s family, I am so happy that the Ryan girls had such a happy ending to their story!
    2 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on February 28, 2022
    An extremely detailed account of twin adoptees searching for their birth parents.
    The author’s statement that we are all connected in the most amazing ways is certainly true.
    The things that puzzle me about the story:
    There are numerous references to the cost of hiring various entities to help with the search. But, the amounts - especially for obviously finally stable people with enough discretionary income to own vacation homes seems so trivial as to hardly play any role in the story. Near the last of the book, while discussing whether or not to hire a genealogist to search for their birth father, they discussed the cost.After five years, they each were ‘in it for about a grand’.
    A ‘grand’? One thousand dollars each to find their birth parents and get the medical histories that were the original basis for the search for birth parents to begin with sounds like nothing. If they were in it for $10,000 each it still would not have seemed like anything that could possibly be considered a stumbling block.
    Maybe other readers will feel differently, but the references to the cost seemed petty.
    The second thing that didn’t ring true was not having researched where their birth mother was teaching nine months before they were born. How hard could that have been? Any competent researcher would have asked that question early on and found the birth father a lot more quickly. For that to be the final clue that led to the discovery seemed a long time in coming.
    All this said, this is a good read especially for anyone connected with adoption.
    6 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on January 3, 2025
    I loved how detailed the author was in describing the long process she went through in finding her bio parents. My heart would go between breaking for her when she was stalled to excited when she was able to finally get more info. I loved her determination to keep looking, even though it took much longer and more expensive than she expected. Now with more people taking ancestry dna tests, quite often you can find the answers without the expense of a mediator. My husband found an older paternal brother on Ancestrydna. who wasn’t able to access his adoption records. He actually had a maternal brother match as well. Finally, in his 60s, he was able to find and meet his siblings.
  • Reviewed in the United States on February 6, 2025
    What a great book. It is one that I could hardly put down for a break..I am so glad it had a happy ending,even after the birth mothers giving wrong info on the father.Ok,the father didn’t want anything to do with the twins,but he could have at least gave them his medical info..So glad for the brother and sister who cared..How great it was to find out they were all related one way or another and also shared friends. Just love this book!!
    3 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on December 12, 2024
    As an adopted person myself I, probably surprisingly, never read books on adoption until recent years. Ms. McGue's work is both poignant and thoughtful. Although our stories are vastly different, I was surprised by how many emotions I shared with her as she traveled through the arduous process of finding information that many people simply take for granted. I understood her grief at potentially upsetting the beloved parents who raised her and the hard-fought knowledge that she had an intrinsic right to know the story of her origins. Highly recommend.
    One person found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

  • Patricia
    5.0 out of 5 stars Great story, Great writer!
    Reviewed in France on December 26, 2021
    So well written! It's hard to put the book down. A touching story.
  • LostinBooks
    5.0 out of 5 stars A moving & astonishing family story that I couldn't put down
    Reviewed in Canada on January 27, 2022
    "Twice a Daughter" captivated me from the first page, as the author - one of a pair of twins raised by adoptive parents -- describes the extraordinarily complex and emotionally difficult search for her mother and father and other biological relatives, more than 50 years after her adoption. She has a good eye for detail, ample generosity of spirit and approaches her story with honesty and respect for all of her family members, so the book is a pleasure to read. Even though I lost a child to close adoption, I found myself absolutely astonished and horrified at how difficult it was for the author and her sister to find their parents and their medical history, despite their obvious right to know.
  • Terry Seymour
    5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing story
    Reviewed in Australia on March 22, 2025
    Having come from a disrupted family where mother passed away due to family violence when I was 5yrs old and my Brother was then adopted by a Uncle and Aunt , you were fortunate to have found family who loved you both, I enjoyed your story.
  • Anonymouse
    5.0 out of 5 stars Riveting read
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 13, 2024
    So many twists in the tale. A fascinating insight into the highs and lows of searching for birth parents. The huge coincidence at the end, is more like a twist in a movie than the real life truth it turns out to be.
    I didn't want to put this book down. Thank you for sharing your story Julie. I wish you all much happiness.
  • Images by Ceci
    4.0 out of 5 stars An honest tale well told
    Reviewed in Canada on February 15, 2022
    I bought this book because the topic resonates with me, an adoptee. I spent years searching for and eventually finding my birth parents and numerous siblings and I envy that Julie had a twin sister to share the experience with. Julie did a good job articulating the twists and turns in this type of search and the emotional ups and downs. Well worth reading, even if you’re not an adoptee, a adopter or a birth parent. If you have a friend or relative who is any of those things, perhaps this book will help you to understand what they’ve been through.

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