Jarod Kintz Weird Quotes


A brick could be dropped on your motherinlaws head from the height of 66.6 feet. You know as a going away present. Jarod Kintz Weird 110
I want to make something of myself. I believe its called a statue. Jarod Kintz Weird 86
I want to mail my mailman something. He always brings me mail yet I never give him any mail. Maybe he will appreciate the thought or maybe he will feel I am making more work for him. Jarod Kintz Weird 85
I want to keep a human mouth on my coffee table. Itll be a great conversation starter. Jarod Kintz Weird 77
I love Huey Lewis but not the News because the News is too depressing. Jarod Kintz Weird 72
My love is like the shape your mouth makes while you whistle. Would you mind if I accompanied you on my harmonica Jarod Kintz Weird 53
When Im 42 Ill have 21 years of experience being 21. Ill be doubly prepared to handle myself in a bar most likely by avoiding them altogether. Jarod Kintz Weird 50
Love happens to some people sometimes. Other times other stuff happens to other people. Im a person like those people. Jarod Kintz Weird 46
Theres truth and honor in a mustache. And thats why I started flying one on the flagpole outside of my house. Jarod Kintz Weird 45
We rode the merrygoround like a couple of lovers. We werent though we were just two horse enthusiasts from two different worlds I think she was from Mars. Jarod Kintz Weird 42
Im in disguise. Im disguised as myself and Im a master of disguise so thats why you couldnt tell I was in disguise. Not even my clone could tell. Jarod Kintz Weird 42
If youre going to hold a grudge at least put on an oven mitt before you pick it up. Jarod Kintz Weird 42
I was nervous. Like an ice cube I just froze up. Then I melted in some strange guys drink. Jarod Kintz Weird 39
My love for you would blot out the sun like a cloud made out of yogurt. I hope you brought a spoon. Jarod Kintz Weird 38
I dont think anybodys ever written a song called Theres urine on the couch and the remote control is in the shower. I would write it myself but Ive never been very good at writing love ballads. Jarod Kintz Weird 35
I want to upholster the inside lining of my nostrils with leather to have that new car smell all the time. Jarod Kintz Weird 33
When the clock reads 300 I dont call it three oclock I call it three hundred and I remember the Spartans. At 301 however I remember what I was doing at 259 and I get back to it. Jarod Kintz Weird 33
If my name were Mememem and I had just ran into someone who should have known my name but couldnt recall it Id probably say I cant believe you dont remememember my name. Jarod Kintz Weird 31
Im older than myself. At least I will be once my clone gets here. Jarod Kintz Weird 30
Love knows no boundaries. I wish I would have known that before I hired a cartographer to map out my romantic territory. Jarod Kintz Weird 29
I only sing in the shower. I would join a choir but I dont think my bathtub can hold that many people. Jarod Kintz Weird 26

Showing 1 to 21 of 21 entries

Previous1Next

Advertising Disclosure: Please note that many links to retailers are affiliate links, which yields a commission for us. allauthor.com is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon sites.

Jarod Kintz Weird Quotes

Search Result