Where did you grow up? What did your parents do for a living and did that, in any way, inspire your decision to become a writer?
I grew up in a Boxford Ma. My dad’s company was called Leadership Attitudes. He was a life coach before they even called them life coaches. While other 6 year-old kids were getting served up pancakes and waffles for breakfast, I was getting affirmations and goal-setting tactics. He taught me to embrace failure – that you must fail to succeed. The only failures in life are the ones who are too afraid to try.
Where did you go to college and what was your major? Was writing ever on your mind back then?
I went to North Adams State College for business finance/marketing. Then I worked construction and started my own company, which I still run today. Writing was never even on my radar screen.
Have you ever considered becoming a part-time counsellor along with being an author? Where do you think your desire to help others stems from?
Today, I encourage my readers to contact me through my books and they do. I help them with their specific issues for free so, in a way, I am a part-time counselor/dating coach/life coach rolled into one. I always liked helping my friends recover from breakups so it became easy for me to take things to the next level.
Why did you start writing advice books? How do you keep your books straightforward and keep them from getting biased?
I had a friend who was on his third divorce. I had helped him through each one and he then encouraged me to help others like I helped him. He finally decided I was right all along and stopped the cycle! I stay unbiased because I will not judge people. I make that very clear from the beginning. I will give them my opinion, but only after I have permission to do so. Hey, I’ve screwed up at times in my life too!
What is a mistake that is easy to make when writing advice & how-to books? What are some unspoken "rules" of writing books in this genre?
Know your audience. Realize that we are all uniquely different and be careful not to label someone without knowing them. Don’t go writing books for college kids when your audience is 40-year old’s. Also, dating is subjective, and some people will not like you and your advice. Accept this – it’s the life of a writer who dishes out advice.
What sort of research is involved in this genre?
Hitting the streets, the work places, and social venues! I couldn’t stand what was being written by so called experts. I felt like these writers were home pretending to know what goes down on Saturday nights. I did know because I was single and out there. Of course, following and doing video shoots with world renowned Dr. Helen Fisher didn’t hurt my research either. I also have an assistant who conducts more in-depth online research when I feel it will add to a book.
Do you ever interview people for content and research for your books? Who's the most interesting person you've met so far while writing a book?
My most interesting interview was with an eighty-year- old married couple holding hands in Boston. I asked them what their secret was to lasting love and the man said, “I never felt like I caught her – to this day I keep chasing her.” The woman just smiled – smart as a fox!
When did you write "Winning the Game of Teen Life"? In what way was this book inspired by your own experiences as a teen?
I have been writing that book for 55 years, but it got published about a year ago. I realized that too many people were broken by their experiences growing up so I wanted to try to catch teens before the damage could be done. Also, I had many moms asking for a book to give to their sons and daughters.
Your books mainly have advice for women. Would you ever consider writing a relationship advice book for men?
I have written books for men. The Building of a Confident Man was my first book and it went straight to best seller status. Later, I decided it was women who really needed my help. Guys get over things easier, women take a bigger hit and have so many more variables to deal with like having children etc. I jumped ship and concentrated on women.
Why did you start the Relationship and Dating Advice for Women series? Which book in this series are you most proud of? Which book had the most positive feedback?
Wow, that’s a tough one. Comfortable in Your Own Shoes is my confidence course and that book does the most good I think. I love when women finally “get it” and start to lose their evil voice. They start to love themselves and this book provides that. To Date a Man You Must Understand a Man gets the most positive reviews. This book changes everything! This is the book that teaches MAN MODE which is the language that women speak so men understand. Once women understand this tactic, its game on in their success with men!
Do you prefer to provide advice based on your own experiences or try to stay as far away from your personal life as possible? What makes a good advice book?
My own experience. I don’t have to research a lot because I live it. Everything I teach, I must know to be true and/or do it myself. In fact, in some books I do the exercises right along with my readers, so they can see me fail too! We fail and succeed together – it’s fun.
How many of the tips in the Pursuit of Happiness and Unlimited Success series did you follow? Do you ever find yourself learning new tips and tricks while writing your books? If so, what's the best tip you ever accidentally stumbled upon while writing?
Like I said, I do what I write. I actually do the exercises which are related to man of course. I teach inside the books. For example, Sunday Reflection is a tactic inside Live Like You’re Dying and that happens every Sunday night for 30-45 minutes. I reflect on the things that I did great and the things that I need to do better in the upcoming week. I discovered many new tips. I never realized how lonely and isolated women can feel and what a few caring words can do to a person who is down and out. Now I know. That’ why I respond to every email.
What do you think makes your books special? Would you ever give up writing and helping people if it meant that in the process, you'd be drained of your own happiness?
My books are special because I am one of the few authors who encourages women to contact me. This shocks them, and they trust me. These women are my friends for life. Writing I’m not so good at – Kirbie, my trusted sidekick, makes me look good, but helping others is in my blood and that is my key to happiness!
