Carol Boyce

My life was privileged in the LA suburbs--my family had curb appeal. With a prominent cardiologist father, a stay-at-home mother, and three siblings, the focus was rich with classical music, the arts, and education. I felt lucky to be in my family. But something was terribly wrong that I couldn't pinpoint--my feelings were very different from the looks of our family and I couldn't figure out why I felt so bad. I didn't have any memory of the terror I was living through.

Classical piano was a strong focus in my childhood and I studied it for a long time. My uncle was a renown opera coach, however, and I dreamed of being able to sing like his students. When I turned forty and my kids went back to school, I started voice lessons and was thrilled to be hired soon after by our regional opera company. My extensive singing experiences--whether opera, recitals, symphonies or ballets--and the richness of the languages and cultures the music represents have been highlights of my life that, looking back, still give me goosebumps.

I had gone through so much trauma and pain healing from profound child abuse and I'd never heard my story before. I decided I could either die with my experience hidden in shame or I could write it down to help others recover. I wrote the book I had desperately needed when I was recovering.

Feeling so vulnerable and exposed was the most challenging. I knew by publishing First, I Believe You, many people close to me would also read it, and I didn't know how they'd perceive it. I didn't want to hurt my family but also knew I would have to if I told my whole story with integrity and honesty. Fortunately, most people have been wonderfully supportive, though shocked by my past. I

If I'd never discovered writing, I'd never been able to help others and add to the conversation on sexual abuse. Now, I realize how powerful and everlasting the written word is. I learned a great deal about the details of good writing from my editors and loved learning about the incredible craft. A whole new world has opened up to me and I can't wait to see where it takes me.

I had never been interested in writing professionally though I've kept a journal for most of my adult life. I was more interested in science, math and finance. My education and professional career were in engineering and finance. But I loved to read non-fiction—true stories of people overcoming tremendous odds--and these stories showed me my story would be of interest to others also.

I never had any interest in writing as a child--it never crossed my mind. I was interested in science, math and finance. My education and professional career were in engineering and finance. But I always kept a journal as an adult and loved to read non-fiction—true stories of people overcoming tremendous odds. It was like living many other lives besides my own. These stories showed me my story would be of interest and benefit to others and when I retired when Covid hit, I had the time and journals to make my memoir happen. I just needed good teachers--my editors- to get my writing skills up to speed. It's opened up a whole new world of enrichment and possibilities to me.

I'm a private person. Opening up as I did in the book was not at all who I am. My family and friends were shocked to learn I was battling the results of severe abuse for most of my life.

By risking writing about my darkest and most personal moments, seeing other survivors of sexual abuse benefit has been most gratifying. It's made others open up and talk of their experiences, many of which they've never spoken of to anyone before. Their journeys have become easier to understand and that was my goal.

My experience surviving terrible child abuse has given me a life-long passion for protecting children and helping abused kids today. I support organizations that are healing abusers, fighting for healthy childhoods, and teaching parenting skills.

Yes and a few have--primarily those closest to my beloved father. They just can't fathom how such a "kind", trustworthy and affable person could be a pedophile. They don't believe me--the first to come forward about a pedophile.

My story, however, is much bigger than my immediate family. Incest and sexual abuse in families must come out of the closet and be spoken of out loud if we are going to understand and protect children in the future. It's a complex problem and all eyes are needed to ensure safety and prevention of child sexual trauma.

I've written a very personal book about my severe trauma and how I faced it head-on. Most people keep it to themselves and can't face it--that is what makes me different. I am very thankful I recovered from something that many cannot.

I've thought of writing a book on recovering from eating disorders, which tend to be tightly connected with child abuse and sexual trauma. I think these diseases are deadly and very poorly understood in our "diet-crazed" society. Connecting body trauma with compulsive overeating is critical to understand for many medical professionals and survivors alike.

I was introduced to this wonderful organization through an editor friend who has also published many children's books. She highly suggested it to me as a new author and it was a great recommendation.