I don't actually subscribe to the notion that it is automatically difficult to write for the opposite gender because, as well know full well with more appreciation these days, gender is not a binary thing. Sure, they are some clear differences between men and women, but difference does not equal difficulty.
For example, why should it be any more difficult for me to write a female character (such as a detective) than it should be to write a sociopathic child molester? Or a psychopathic killer? Or a blinkered racist? Why should it be presumed that writing DS Sandra Bolton in my first novel be any more difficult for me writing the male serial killer? You might say because men and women think and behave differently - but I can assure you my psychology is far closer to DS Bolton - woman or not - than it is for the killer in my first novel.
The phrase "don't judge a book by its cover" is complete and utter nonsense. After all, what is it that makes you pick up a book in the first place? Hundreds of books on that shelf, something has to draw you in. That's the title and cover. When the reader has their hands on your book, you've passed test one. Next, they will read your tagline or "hook" on the front cover. If you pass that test, they will turn it over and read the blurb. If you finally pass that test - all of this having taken little more than perhaps 15 to 30 seconds, they might buy the book. After all, you can't exactly read the whole book and then tell the book shop you're not interested, can you?
I like to think of it a bit like fishing: you need to hook the reader; reel them in; gut them and prepare them, cook them; and only then can you eat them.
For me, everything revolves around the story. Even when I write poetry, there is an element of story in it - though it is a little more ambiguous in poetry.
Establishing that part of the process is what I love the most - piecing together the map for the journey your reader will take. I love plot twists and taking the reader by surprise. I'm not into shock for the sake of shock (e.g. gratuitous violence) but I do want to move my reader to laugh, to cry, to wonder about the characters and their futures. I often have some rules like: "never expect a reader to care about a character's death unless you first make them care about their life." And if you're writing an action scene, or one of violence, to remember that as soon as the first punch is thrown all tension is lost. It is the anticipation of danger where tension lies, the uncertainty of consequence.
All of these are elements of story, and as human beings we take to this so naturally. One of the most powerful things I can ever hope to achieve as a writer is to affect a reader in such a way that the story stays with them, they remember it, reflect on it. I would rather achieve that with just ONE reader than sell 1000 copies to people who don't care.
