Susan Rau Stocker Interview Published on: 03, Nov 2023

Growing up in Durham, Pennsylvania, in my family, attending our church, playing with my friends, watched over by the townspeople, was the equivalent of a charmed life. It was loving, safe, and fun: I knew who I was and where I belonged. My worldview became a focus on the goodness of different kinds of people. I witnessed tolerance for eccentricity, help for anyone who needed it, and a strong sense of right and wrong which defended the dignity of each and every person. The church was so respectful and kind that I knew God must care deeply, too. I didn’t learn the “us/them” paradigm which divides and prioritizes. We kids didn’t fight and never left anyone out. It was an amazing way to grow up – protected, disciplined, and cherished. I have rarely heard anyone talk about such a childhood. Understanding the uniqueness of that gift is one of the reasons I felt moved to write about it.

The answer is in the question: my writing is all stories about people. Even though I’m writing non-fiction these days, I love writing fiction because the characters come to life and start talking to and through me. That’s such a trip. That’s how Heart 1.5 came to be. The characters from the original Heart (published by Bantam in 1982 under the pen name of Susan Ross) started coming to me in my dreams showing me what they were up to 30 years later. Of the “impossibly trusting” I will say this: growing up without any armor has not always been a gift. Until I was in my twenties I had no interaction with snake-oil salesmen or liars or cheats. To this day, my initial response to people is to trust them and assume the best. It drives my three sons crazy. “MOM,” they shake their heads. “You can’t do that! You can’t give random people rides or let them in your house.”

I’ll answer these two questions together. The description of how I see the world is a description of an NF on the Myers-Briggs That personality type, only 12% of the world, does not see the world in black and white/ good and bad/ right and wrong. We idealistic NFs sometimes seem like dithering idiots because we no sooner make up our minds on an issue than we get more information and then change our stance. But overwhelmingly, we see the good in situations and people. In Only Her Naked Courage the heroine was kidnapped by a man who had become evil, and I described some of what he did to her. My friends were appalled that I would write such a horrendous account. It was totally out of character for cheerful, positive Susan. In the story, I made it clear that he was himself a trauma survivor of abuse.

I worked in a hospital nursery for five summers. In that wonderful job, I held hundreds of newborns. Babies are not born demented and evil. We humans mutilate their hearts, minds, and bodies. That basic belief in essential goodness is a thread through my writing and my counseling as it was for the thirty years I taught high school and college.

My sister-in-law suggested the title. She and my brother did a lot of sailing and “mooring” is the process of getting the boat safely home and docked. The millrace is the stream visible at the bottom of the cover artwork. It’s the water that powered the millwheel. The view of Durham on the front of the book is the view from my childhood bedroom window. The mooring at the millrace is my lifelong safe haven. It’s the legacy I was given which explains my optimism and resilience. The James Baldwin quotation on the back cover resonates with me: “If you know whence you come,” if you have an enduring mooring, “there is really no limit on where you can go.” I wanted to share with my descendants and the descendants of those who never had a chance to write about their lives, my understanding of whence we came.

This is such a brilliant question. I think the answer is that raising a family, teaching, providing therapy, and writing are all about planting seeds. At least one-third of our yard in Durham was given to gardens. My mom and grandmother grew flowers galore. We always had bouquets in the house, and growing, blooming plants. But my favorite garden was the huge vegetable garden. I attribute my health to my love of vegetables which anyone would have if they grew up eating fresh food well cooked. And I learned the significance of planting and tending. In my writing, for example, I plant a lot of seeds that never grow. I have lots of beginnings of articles and poems which never came to fruition. That’s okay. The robust, meaningful attempts make the light of day. Likewise in teaching and therapy, one throws a lot of seeds on minds and hearts that aren’t ready or receptive. That makes the seeds that grow all the more special.

Faith in our family wasn’t talked about. Faith was a way of life. Discipline in our family was disapproval. If we weren’t kind, inclusive, generous, tolerant, and patient, we didn’t get the belt. We got a sideways glance or a frown. We were a harmonious extended family. No one was excluded from anything. When I taught communication classes one of the lessons was “Actions speak louder than words.” I understood that teaching. The most enduring lesson I learned from that church on the hill, the community, and my family is that there can be no “us vs. them.” If I hurt my neighbor, I harm myself. The Golden Rule applies to everyone. When in doubt or despair, turn to hymns.

Music is another metaphor for the creative process. In playing the piano the right hand often plays the melody, the left hand the harmony, the feet tie rhythms together and accentuate notes, the volume fluctuates and the melody lines glide together or separate. All of this applies to writing, also. Not every element in a story gets equal attention. And what are the little “extras” that bring a story to life and make it memorable? They’re the little flute solos or the steady beating of a drum.

Yes. The greatest lesson of my life: don’t take a moment or any aspect of parenting for granted. Growing up in a calm, organized, respectful, clean home where I was loved, well-fed, consistently disciplined, taken to doctors and dentists, and had expectations and rules as well as fun, adventures, and two wonderful story-tellers for entertainment, created a platform from which a child can flourish. The things missing from a child’s early life become the responsibility of that child as an adult to identify and learn. I hope readers take away the realization that no one gets everything – after that near picture-perfect beginning, I ended up twice divorced. The messages and themes for me are adversity and trials will come into every life; it takes a village; learn from everything and everyone; love heals.

This is another excellent question. Readers can email me and put MOORING in the subject line. (sraustocker@yahoo.com). I’d love to hear from them. I also have an Author page on Facebook and a website manyfacesofptsd.wordpress.com. I hope readers will get back in touch with their memories of the 1950s and 1960s and how different life used to be: we had fewer things but much more substance. I’d like my memories to stir the memories of readers. A small pamphlet of questions, Conversations Across Generations, is available on Amazon as a companion to Mooring at the Millrace. Its intent is to foster communication and help unleash individual memories so others can pass their stories on to future generations. The pamphlet will provide ideas for what to ask parents and grandparents, or what to discuss in a book club.

You need a community. Writing is a complex art. None of us are good at writing, editing, cover design, formatting, and all the other aspects of writing. Get help. Don’t expect to make money. As Carl Jung said, “Follow your bliss.” Write only if you NEED to write. Read voluminously before you begin writing. Writing is not for wimps or those whose feelings are easily hurt. Don’t write what others think you should write. Write from your heart and soul.

Mooring at the Millrace is a book that remembers old-fashioned pastimes and virtues. Raising one’s food and a yard full of flowers are uncommon today. I celebrate the lessons of a life lived more closely tied to the land, the rain, and the sunshine. I still miss the smell of bed sheets dried on the wash line. My small garden lives on as a tribute to the large garden my father dug by hand and fertilized with horse manure a neighbor shared. I like giving away things I grow. In the same way, I love sharing my stories.

Another thought-provoking question. Hymns often keep me going during the trials and the loneliness. My piano lessons were a gift from my parents. So, I think, when I get smoothly through hard times, I liken it to the flow of music and water. I rely on the comfort of Amazing Grace and The Tie That Binds.

I have about five ideas waiting in the wings and my grandson, Nicholas, and I just “workshopped” another idea. He believes a book about therapy would be valuable for aspiring therapists and for prospective clients who are tentative about starting treatment. I have so many stories about clients, all of which would be mixed around, re-named, and re-located so no actual client would be an obvious part of the story. Secondly, I have my grandmother’s diaries kept during the last four years of her life. From horse and buggy to teaching in a one-room school to her life-altering decision to quit teaching so she could marry another teacher, her life formed a woman of steel. How she survived and thrived and rewrote her life story is, to me, a testament to faith and strength. Third, I have another novel mostly written about a high school teacher and a principal and the main characters in their life play. Fourth, having lived alone for the last twenty-two years, I’d like to write some encouragement about the positive possibilities of Flying Solo. Also, I have almost 500 weekly blog posts on my website and I write quite a bit of poetry.

I believe I serendipitously stumbled onto AllAuthor because of its name. My experience with AllAuthor has been wonderful. I feel like I have a community. The support and services AllAuthor provides are very helpful, like the weekly mock-ups. I was so grateful to have my college roommate’s cover art entered in the Cover of the Month Contest. We made it up to #6 but then slid back down. Nonetheless, it was a joy. This project, being interviewed by Mady Joshi, has been an exceptionally exhilarating opportunity and I am incredibly grateful.