Sherry Hobbs

The first eight years of my life were spent cocooned in white bread middle-class suburbia. At eight, when my father was appointed the Air Attache to Indochina, we moved to Saigon, Vietnam. Geographically, it was half a world away, and culturally and visually, it seemed even further. Surrounded and embraced by people who looked and lived so differently from anything I had experienced was a revelation. I learned, most importantly, that people are much more alike than they are different, and differences should be embraced and not feared. Prejudice is born out of fear and ignorance. And, ignorance is a lack of experience and information. Travel changes that. As the title of my first book indicates, I was a Bird of Passage.

Prewar Vietnam, at least in the south where I lived, was beautiful, with jungles and wild animals in abundance. We learned to speak French as it was the common language. Vietnam had of course been a French colony for decades. The French had taken much from the country in terms of natural resources but gave back a decidedly French influence in the cuisine and culture. Saigon was called "Little Paris."

The year we arrived, which was 1956, the last French soldiers left after decades of colonizing the country, having given up trying to hold on to it.

Gekkos ran all over the walls, and we got around on the backs of bicycles and rickshaws. We brought our dalmation, Yankee, but added monkeys and ducks as pets. I learned dressage at the French Equestrian Center and swam at the Cirque Sportif public swimming pool. We swam in the ocean We traveled to Hong Kong, Tokyo, India, Thailand, and the Philippines and spent a week's vacation in Kashmir on a houseboat, and at the French resort in Dalat, in the mountains in the middle of the country. I think of those years as a storybook time in my life.

When we returned to the US in 1958, my father was again at the Pentagon, so I lived in the DC area. The Civil Rights movement was underway and there were separate drinking fountains and bathrooms for "colored" and "whites." I was shocked. I had just moved from a country of brown skinned people. We as Caucasians were in a tiny minority. My girlfriend's father, who was Jewish, was a leader in the Civil Rights Movement and we spent a lot of time discussing bigotry, the Civil Rights Movement and religion.

The Women's Movement, along with my progressive mother, propelled me to go to college and encouraged me to compete with men in the workplace. Caught in the middle, I started in social work, a predominantly women's field, and gravitated to business and sales.

The Vietnam War, a Civil war between the north and the south, was a travesty and a waste of lives on both sides. At the end of the war, the entire country became communist. If elections had been carried out as agreed, without US interference, perhaps the Vietnam would have remained politically divided, with the North under communism and the South a democracy. Perhaps not. However, in my mind, 800,000 plus Vietnamese people and 58,000 Americans died needlessly.

I loved helping those less fortunate than I, gain skills and confidence and become self-sufficient. But I felt that the bureaucracy tied my hands at being really effective and propelled me to leave it. I was driven, competitive and wanted to be directly rewarded for my efforts.

The early experience of living abroad and learning another language helped give me confidence in myself and my abilities. The experience taught me to be flexible and adaptable. I also learned to make friends quickly and be open-minded.

I think that being flexible and adaptable, things I was fortunate to learn as a child, are necessary components of a happy marriage. I think that's why second marriages are often more difficult. We enter them with learned and now ingrained behaviors, values, and experiences and no longer wish to be flexible. Mike and I came together in college, with completely opposite life experiences but over time, with perseverance, luck, and mutual respect; we grew together by sharing experiences. Now that he has been diagnosed with dementia, it is much easier for me to be patient and understanding because I know who he was and who he still is inside. And I love that person.

Oh my Mady, that's a question that requires more time than I can answer in this interview. I am writing my third book about that journey. In a nutshell, everything has changed, but we are adapting. I intend to donate the profits from the book to dementia research.

If I may, here is a short excerpt from a poem my youngest grandson wrote when he was 21.
"Stay honest," she'd whisper, when shadows would loom.
"Stay open," she'd smile, dispersing the gloom.
Her optimism, like a lighthouse, firm and tall
Guiding my journey, helping me to stand tall."
I think that's a beautiful legacy to leave.

While many people think of salespeople as fast talkers, pushing their products or services on others, the best ones build trust and are good listeners. They ask open ended questions to get at the real needs and are honest in helping someone find the right solution. Those are the same skills that make a good social worker or counselor.

I learned that people are much more alike than they are different.

It is my life, my memoir. A Bird of Passage is someone who never stays long in one place. My second book, which is called MAC:The Wind Beneath My Wings, is a biography of my father, who was one of the first pilots to fly the brand-new, hastily built and therefore accident prone B-24 bomber. He was shot down on his first mission in Guadacanal and he and his surviving crew traveled three weeks through Japanese held islands before they were rescued. He then flew another incredible 51 missions in Guadalcanal before being brought back to train on the newer B-29 bomber that was built to reach Japan from Guam and drop the atomic bombs. He flew 30 missions from Guam. His story and life as a war hero and later a career officer and father has won two awards for best Biography in 2023 and 2024.

They have read both books, and we have had numerous discussions about life. I am so proud of who they are, kind, empathetic, thoughtful and bright young men. I have always told my grandsons that they should never forget how very lucky they are to have been born where they were, when they were, and to whom they were. We don’t get to choose where we get our start in life but it has a huge impact on who we become. As far as values I hope to pass on and think that I have are, honesty, integrity, courageousness and compassion.

I know that the totality of my life experiences have contributed to building me into a person who I hope others see as kind, empathetic, open-minded, and a person of integrity. My personality and luck of the draw in the parents department also contributed to making me, me.

I have always had stories to tell because of such a varied background and diverse life experience. I love to write poetry and connect with others most easily through the written word.

Absolutely! It is a wonderful forum for readers and writers alike. The resources to help authors connect with readers are quite extraordinary and unique. I particularly love the mockup banners. What an innovative and helpful tool to highlight a book. I look forward to being a part of the AllAuthor family for years to come. Thank you Mady!