Where were you born, and tell us about your childhood?
I was born in Jeannette, PA as a strong-willed and happy child who came into the world with great affection and hope for a life filled with love and compassion. None of us are born fearful. However, if our families cannot meet our basic needs, fear creeps in and can take over our entire life. Though I had a loving father and a beautiful relationship with my little sister Tammi and my grandparents, my mother was abusive and enabled others to traumatize me.
When Tammi and I went on a trip to Albuquerque to spend the summer with my mother, my life and personality changed dramatically. My mother allowed strangers to sexually assault my 11-year-old body and drug my sister to get free drugs. My mother then disappeared for days while I was taking care of my comatose sister. When she returned, she handed us our suitcases and left us alone on the streets of Albuquerque. I got us home safely and to tell my father that my sister and I needed therapy, but after that, I shut down.
How did your childhood influence your current attitude towards work ethic?
My childhood ego tried to preserve me from experiencing harm again, and I learned from my mother that I should fear people. This defense mechanism was a helpful act of self- preservation as a child; however, this view harmed me as an adult. I did not befriend people because the voice in my head told me that people would hurt me. I withdrew as the egoic voice told me I was not loveable. These harmful utterings prevented me from becoming my true self.
Like many wounded people, I looked for a group of individuals with which I felt comfortable. For a time, I found that in a tight-knit church community. This new family is where I learned that I wasn’t alone in my fear. It was also where I began to feel less overwhelmed by my anxiety, and slowly my fledgling personality emerged from the fear. I learned that I did not want to pretend to be something I was not. I began to be more forceful, expressing my thoughts and emotions instead of hiding them.
Through my relationships with my first and second husband, my son, and various social communities and friends, I learned valuable life lessons that helped me come to terms with and overcome my fear. As I continued to grow, I understood that we are each responsible for our own lives and the choices we make. Despite the fears and the negativities I carried with me, I recognized that it was me who had made the choices that created my life. I may have allowed others to influence my decisions, but I permitted them to—therefore, I am responsible. In accepting total responsibility for my choices, I learned that I had given my power away in the past, and I could choose to take it back and create the life I truly wanted.
What was your biggest dream as a child? Did it ever come true?
I’ve always wanted to help others, so yes, I’m living out my childhood dream through the book and my coaching.
What made you realize that you wanted to be a writer?
Over the past thirty years of my life, I’d been asked if I would write my story, and I’ve always said no. But in the summer of 2018 I became pregnant with a book. I’ve always been a writer of newsletters and articles for other publications, but my story came pouring out of me when the time was right.
What are some things to keep in mind when writing a memoir?
Tell the truth as you see it. Other people’s perceptions don’t change your story. The memoir is my story from my perspective. My truth as I experienced it. It may not be how others in my life experienced or remember the same events.
What challenges did you face while writing your memoir, Raven Transcending Fear?
My book was inspired. It flowed out of me each time I sat down to write. I had no outline or plan other than to let my story out.
Do you prefer writing on a notepad first, or you directly start writing on your computer?
Computer as it flows out of me, besides I can type faster than I can write.
How can you read a book without getting bored instantaneously after you begin?
Understand that there needs to be some background before we get into the meat of the story.
What is the best compliment you have ever received after publishing your book, Raven Transcending Fear?
The best thing anyone can say about my book is that it helped them to see a different perspective of their own lives so they too could overcome a fear or limiting belief. That is the purpose of me telling my story, to help others see the bridge I can provide them over the pit of despair.
Without saying it, what is your favorite book?
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
You're on a ship that's about to sink. What do you say to the person next to you?
I love you. Don’t be afraid; I am here with you.
What is the next book you are looking forward to writing? What is it about?
My next book is titled Soul Solutions. It’s about the lessons I’ve learned over the past few years and how we can know that complete healing from trauma can occur.
How has your experience with AllAuthor been?
I’m relatively new to the platform, but I have enjoyed the access to readers, and the assistance AllAuthor has been to reach my audience.
