Mark Twain Quotes


I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up! Mark Twain Decisions 1,170
Religion was invented when the first con man met the first fool. Mark Twain Religion 881
Find a job you enjoy doing and you will never have to work a day in your life. Mark Twain Work 649
I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up. Mark Twain Intelligence 644
Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option. Mark Twain New Collection 628
Its better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt Mark Twain Humorous 419
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. Mark Twain anger 405
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. - Abraham Lincoln Mark Twain Lent 383
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. Mark Twain Silence 343
Everyone is a moon and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody. Mark Twain Man 339
I was young and foolish then; now I am old and foolisher. Mark Twain Fools 309
Right is right and wrong is wrong and a body aint got no business doing wrong when he aint ignorant and knows better. Mark Twain Morality 290
Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often. Mark Twain Action 278
Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel. Mark Twain Barrel 273
If you have nothing to say, say nothing. Mark Twain Speeches 271
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. Mark Twain Funny 270
The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated. Mark Twain Death 261
The secret of getting ahead is getting started. Mark Twain motivation 246
History is strewn thick with evidence that a truth is not hard to kill, but a lie, well told, is immortal. Mark Twain History 241
We have the best government that money can buy. Mark Twain best 239
There is a great deal of human nature in people. Mark Twain Humanity 233
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. Mark Twain Kindness 233
In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours. Mark Twain Counted 232
When I was fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have him around. When I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. Mark Twain Ignorance 225
His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine. Mark Twain Money 219
Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions. Mark Twain Work 218
Distance lends enchantment to the view. Mark Twain Perspective 212
We are called the nation of inventors. And we are. We could still claim that title and wear its loftiest honors if we had stopped with the first thing we ever invented, which was human liberty. Mark Twain Discoveries 208
It is better to be a young June-bug than an old bird of paradise. Mark Twain Youth 208
A powerful agent is the right word. Whenever we come upon one of those intensely right words... the resulting effect is physical as well as spiritual, and electrically prompt. Mark Twain Words 206
The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven. Mark Twain Humor 206
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. Mark Twain education 206
He had discovered a great law of human action without knowing it namely that in order to make a man or a boy covet a thing it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain. Mark Twain Human nature 204
To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler and less trouble. Mark Twain Teaching 202
Good judgement is the result of experience and experience the result of bad judgement. Mark Twain Paradox 200
I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position. Mark Twain Money 198
Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it. Mark Twain truth 196
Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating but it aint so it is the sickening grammar that they use. Mark Twain Cat 194
The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little. Mark Twain Optimism 193
A lie can run around the world six times while the truth is still trying to put on its pants. Mark Twain DeceptionLying 191
Everything has its limit - iron ore cannot be educated into gold. Mark Twain Educated 188
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man. Mark Twain dog 183
Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; the cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. Mark Twain Education 181
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of 80 and gradually approach 18. Mark Twain Youth 181
Accident is the name of the greatest of all inventors. Mark Twain Inventing 172
Everyone talks about the weather, but no one does anything about it. Mark Twain Humor 172
The trouble with you Chicago people is that you think you are the best people down here, whereas you are merely the most numerous. Mark Twain Hell 170
There are only two forces that can carry light to all the corners of the globe... the sun in the heavens and the Associated Press down here. Mark Twain Media 170
...gratitude is a debt which usually goes on accumulating like blackmail; the more you pay, the more is exacted. In time, you are made to realize that the kindness done you is become a curse and you wish it had not happened. Mark Twain Gratitude 158
When I am king they shall not have bread and shelter only but also teachings out of books for a full belly is little worth where the mind is starved. Mark Twain Mind 157

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