Josh Billings Quotes


A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. Josh Billings Love 1,052
Always live within your income, even if you have to borrow money to do so. Josh Billings Debt 226
The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust. Josh Billings best 127
As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand. Josh Billings Truth 124
Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. Josh Billings Argument 112
Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there. Josh Billings Postage 101
Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist -- it reduces him to his fighting weight. Josh Billings Adversity 98
Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel. Josh Billings Relatives 96
The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way. Josh Billings best 94
Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal. Josh Billings Shame 92
Some folks are wise and some otherwise. Josh Billings Wisdom 91
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. Josh Billings Animals 91
To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while. Josh Billings Travel 90
Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take. Josh Billings Advice 90
Adam invented love at first sight, one of the greatest labor-saving machines the world ever saw. Josh Billings Love 89
The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear. Josh Billings Worry 88
There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: twins. Josh Billings Life 87
There is a significant Latin proverb; to wit: Who will guard the guards? Josh Billings Caution 86
There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing. Josh Billings Intelligence 85
One of the rarest things that a man ever does, is to do the best he can. Josh Billings Quality 82
There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together. Josh Billings Funny 79
Economy is a savings-bank, into which men drop pennies, and get dollars in return. Josh Billings Dollars 79
To enjoy a good reputation give publicly, and steal privately. Josh Billings Charity 78
The miser and the glutton are two facetious buzzards: one hides his store, and the other stores his hide. Josh Billings Diets 78
Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place. Josh Billings Feeling 77
Dont put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today. Josh Billings Joy 77
Never work before breakfast. If you have to work before breakfast, get your breakfast first. Josh Billings Work 77
To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while. Josh Billings Children 76
Poverty is the step-mother of genius. Josh Billings Poverty 76
A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates. Josh Billings Friends 76
Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got. Josh Billings Women 75
A good place to visit, but a poor place to stay. Josh Billings Travel 73
Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corrected. Josh Billings Advice 73
There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory. Josh Billings Funny 72
Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well. Josh Billings Life 71
One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs. Josh Billings best 71
About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment. Josh Billings Plagiarism 70
I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I am the most certain of the first time. Josh Billings Certainty 70
Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at. Josh Billings Confess 70
If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself. Josh Billings Perfection 68
It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit. Josh Billings Forgiveness 68
Experience is a school where a man learns what a big fool he has been. Josh Billings Experience 68
Knowledge is like money: the more he gets, the more he craves. Josh Billings Money 67
The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease. Josh Billings Wisdom 65
Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread. Josh Billings Wisdom 65
The more humble a man is before God, the more he will be exalted, the more humble he is before man, the more he will get rode roughshod. Josh Billings Humble 64
Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does. Josh Billings Conscience 63
Remember the poor, it costs nothing. Josh Billings Poverty 62
Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense. Josh Billings Intelligence 61
Consider the postage stamp, my son. It secures success through its ability to stick to one thing till it gets there. Josh Billings Persistence 61

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