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Biography
Name:
Jarod Kintz
Total Quotes:
1383
Country:
United States
Jarod Kintz Quotes By Topic
Absurd
(73)
Brick and blanket uses
(65)
Surreal
(65)
Brick and blanket test
(48)
Brick and blanket responses
(44)
Strange
(23)
Politics
(21)
Weird
(21)
Food
(19)
Unexpected
(19)
Sleep
(18)
Time
(18)
Murder
(15)
Job
(14)
Politicians
(14)
Politicians Quotes By Author
Jarod Kintz
(14)
Craig Ferguson
(2)
Charles de Coster
(1)
Matt Taibbi
(1)
Timothy Leary
(1)
Nick Taylor
(1)
Thomas Sowell
(1)
Reza Aslan
(1)
Sebastian Barry
(1)
Gore Vidal
(1)
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Jarod Kintz Politicians Quotes
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Be the cheeseburger youve always dreamed you could be. Thats the advice Id give to any hamburger running for political office.
Jarod Kintz
Politicians
100
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My first thought was I got a haircut and trimmed my pubes for this job interview Then I thought Maybe being a political intern isnt such a bad gig after all. I could learn the ropes that bind the people into bondage.
Jarod Kintz
Politicians
79
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Most people dont know where money comes from. Even most of our elected officials dont know. If you were to ask a politician where money comes from she would probably reply I dont know from other peoples pockets
Jarod Kintz
Politicians
78
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When I hear a politician has died in a car accident I think How tragic Even if the car suffered only a small dent it makes me want to cry out to God in despair.
Jarod Kintz
Politicians
77
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On average women are better liars than men. But the best liars are men because politicians are still predominantly men.
Jarod Kintz
Politicians
59
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I wish somebody would combine tasers and dildos and test the devices out on all the politicians in Washington DC. Well all the politicians except Barney Frank whod actually derive pleasure from the experiment.
Jarod Kintz
Politicians
59
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To be surrounded by sixty people who make your life miserable is to be at a family reunion. But to be surrounded by 600000 people who make the whole world miserable is to live in Washington DC.
Jarod Kintz
Politicians
55
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I once saw a politician walking a dog and I thought How absurdan animal walking an animal. Then I thought If given the choice Id rather vote for the dog.
Jarod Kintz
Politicians
52
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Im famous for my Shepherds Pie. Heres my recipe lamb potatoes cheese peas paprika and a woolcovered apron for the chefshepherdwolflike politician to wear while serving the sheeple up.
Jarod Kintz
Politicians
49
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Kill all the prisoners because theyre costing us too much money. Wait No kill all the politicians because theyre spending too much money.
Jarod Kintz
Politicians
46
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Its not true I think all politicians are morons. Morons are far too intelligent to be politicians.
Jarod Kintz
Politicians
39
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Whether youre a Democrat or a Republican I think everybody can agree that politicians are crooks. But I dont think politicians are thieves because you cant steal what youve been given. Once we stop giving in theyll stop taking.
Jarod Kintz
Politicians
37
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Its hard to steal somebodys shoes while they are wearing them and not have them notice. But thats what politicians have done in this country. Not only that but they replaced all our footwear with concrete boots.
Jarod Kintz
Politicians
34
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Americas been ruined by one word Bankers. No two words Bankers and lawyers. Make that three words. Add politicians to that list. Oh and dont forget the lobbyists.
Jarod Kintz
Politicians
31
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