Laurence J. Peter Quotes


Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise. Laurence J. Peter Work 169
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today. Laurence J. Peter Business 129
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. Laurence J. Peter Funny 128
Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status. Laurence J. Peter Bureaucracy 122
Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience. Laurence J. Peter Opportunity 99
In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. Laurence J. Peter Bureaucracy 98
Nobody can be perfect unless he admits his faults, but if he has faults how can he be perfect? Laurence J. Peter Faults 89
The best intelligence test is what we do with our leisure. Laurence J. Peter best 83
Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent. Laurence J. Peter Being 83
The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance. Laurence J. Peter Distance 81
Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices. Laurence J. Peter Education 79
There are two kinds of egotists: Those who admit it, and the rest of us. Laurence J. Peter Admit 78
Democracy is a process by which people are free to choose the man who will get the blame. Laurence J. Peter Blame 76
Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively. Laurence J. Peter Correct 76
A man convinced against his will is not convinced. Laurence J. Peter Against 75
When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream and shout. Laurence J. Peter Circles 73
Going to church doesn't make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car. Laurence J. Peter Car 72
Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it. Laurence J. Peter art 70
Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder. Laurence J. Peter Beauty 69
Slump, and the world slumps with you. Push, and you push alone. Laurence J. Peter Effort 69
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance. Laurence J. Peter 67
Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish a reputation as an expert. Laurence J. Peter Expertise 67
Two things reduce prejudice: education and laughter. Laurence J. Peter Prejudice 61
Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object. Laurence J. Peter Funny 60
Committees have become so important nowadays that subcommittees have to be appointed to do the work. Laurence J. Peter Appointed 60
Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other. Laurence J. Peter Teen 59
An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it. Laurence J. Peter Intelligence 59
A pessimist is a man who looks both ways when he crosses the street. Laurence J. Peter Crosses 56
The incompetent with nothing to do can still make a mess of it. Laurence J. Peter 54
Political success is the ability, when the inevitable occurs, to get credit for it. Laurence J. Peter Politics 54
Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable. Laurence J. Peter 53
America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation. Laurence J. Peter America 52
You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job. Laurence J. Peter Friend 49
A rut is a grave with the ends knocked out. Laurence J. Peter Risk 48
Every man serves a useful purpose: A miser, for example, makes a wonderful ancestor. Laurence J. Peter 46
Men now monopolize the upper levels depriving women of their rightful share of opportunities for incompetence. Laurence J. Peter Women 43
A censor is an expert in cutting remarks. A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to. Laurence J. Peter Censor 40
Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them. Laurence J. Peter Problems 39
Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence. Laurence J. Peter Work 38
Before publishers blurbs were invented authors had to make their reputations by writing. Laurence J. Peter Writers 38
Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. Laurence J. Peter Anger 36
Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame. Laurence J. Peter Democracy 33
Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away. Laurence J. Peter Nature 33
The problem with temptation is that you may not get another chance. Laurence J. Peter Temptation 29
A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know. Laurence J. Peter Funny 29
Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents shortcomings. Laurence J. Peter Psychiatry 27
If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk? Laurence J. Peter Clean 26
Everyone rises to their level of incompetence. Laurence J. Peter Everyone 25

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Laurence J. Peter Quotes

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